was true. At every moment, she wanted to interrupt him, to tell him, but Beck had clearly gone to a lot of trouble for this meal.
First, baked oysters in spinach and cheese. Next, Beck quickly sautéed scallops in butter, and Ari thought she’d never eaten such sweet scallops in her life. Finally, clam chowder thick with bacon, onions, potatoes, cream, and clams. Beck sliced a newly baked baguette from a local bakery to dip into the chowder. Ari moaned as she ate. The small green salad served on the side plate was a perfect companion to the chowder. In the past month, she either couldn’t bear to eat or she couldn’t stop eating.
“You’re not drinking your wine,” Beck said. “Would you like a glass of water?”
“Please.” Ari put down her spoon. She clasped her shaking hands beneath the table. She couldn’t avoid it any longer.
“Thank you,” she said when Beck set the glass, filled with water and lots of ice cubes, at her place. She drank deeply, with her eyes closed, saying a little prayer that the next few moments wouldn’t be too horrible.
“I have to tell you something, Beck,” she said, her voice trembling.
Beck smiled slightly. “Okay.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Beck rocked back in his chair as if punched. “Wow.”
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I guess I’ve been hoping it would all, somehow, disappear. And, Beck, I like you so much…” She bit her lip. “I’m trying not to cry. I know it’s not fair if I cry.”
Beck asked, “Do you want to tell me who the father is?”
Ari nodded. “Peter Anderson is the father. I told you about him. He’s been the only serious man in my life. I was going to marry him this summer. It happened three days before I broke off with him, at the end of May. I knew I was going to break off with him, but he was so stressed, I couldn’t tell him then. I’d only just gone off my birth control pills…”
Talking had settled her, calmed her. She took another sip of water and crossed her arms on the table, gently pushing the empty bowl of chowder away.
“He was, understandably, upset when I ended it. Angry. Hurt. I came to the island to stay with my grandmother, having no idea I was pregnant.”
Ari looked down at her hands. “I met you before I knew. I sailed with your family and had dinner with you and I did know by then, but I hadn’t really processed it. Plus, so many people come to the island and have summer romances and then it’s all over in September.” Ari looked up and met Beck’s eyes. “I’m falling in love with you, Beck, and it’s the absolutely wrong time. I’ve messed this all up. I’m so sorry.”
Beck looked at her steadily. “Have you told Peter?”
“Yes. It was awful. I drove to Boston two weeks ago and told him. He was angry. He wants nothing to do with a child, if I go through with the pregnancy, but he said he’d pay half for an abortion.” Ari’s lips quivered in a weak, wry smile. “That’s so Peter. To pay for exactly half of something.”
They were silent for a moment.
“Are you going to have the baby?” Beck asked.
“I am,” Ari said, and burst into tears. “I don’t know why, but I am. I love children. I know I’ll be a good mother. It’s not so very strange these days for a woman to have a baby on her own and raise it on her own. Lots of single women do it.”
“Do your parents know?”
“Ha. My parents. No, they don’t know. They’re having their own problems. My grandmother Eleanor knows. I’m sure she’ll help me somehow. I’ll have to postpone my work toward a master’s degree. As for the rest…I haven’t figured it all out yet.” She looked at Beck, desperation in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Beck. I’m so sorry. It was like nothing I’ve ever known, meeting you, being with you. I know I should have told you sooner, and stopped seeing you.” She dropped her head in her hands and cried.
Beck didn’t reach to touch her, and she was glad. It was too confusing. She willed herself to stop crying. After a moment, she wiped her eyes and looked at him.
Beck was looking at her, not with anger, and not with pity. “This is a lot to deal with. It’s certainly not how I thought this weekend would play out.”
“I know. I’m