pushing a pillow behind her.
“Good morning, darling,” her mother said, handing Ari the coffee and sitting down on the bed, close to Ari. Alicia was fully clothed in a pale lavender linen dress with amethyst earrings and bracelet. Her delicate makeup brought out the lavender tones in her blue eyes.
“Mom,” Ari said. Her mother never brought her coffee. Alicia wanted something, and Ari could guess what it was. But she took the coffee and drank.
“ ‘Thank you’ would be the polite response,” her mother said.
“Thank you. The coffee is delicious. But I’m not changing my mind about Peter.”
“Really?” She put a soft hand on Ari’s arm. “Can’t you allow yourself a little time to think about it? All that you’re throwing away? Sweetie, I don’t think you understand. Many brides get cold feet before the wedding. What you’re going through is absolutely normal. But even though you acted rashly, I’m sure if you consider how wonderful Peter is, what an excellent life the two of you will have together, you’ll—”
“Mom, please stop. Don’t you realize I’ve considered breaking off with Peter for months? I wanted to when we were here on New Year’s Eve, but that was the wrong time—”
Alicia looked horrified. “It certainly was. That would have been cruel!”
“I know! So I didn’t do it then. In January he went skiing with his buddies, and when he got back, he was stressed-out by his classes, plus we never had any private time to talk.”
“But why break up with him? He’s such a fabulous catch!”
“No one thinks that way anymore, Mom. Peter isn’t a catch and I’m not a fisherman, fisherwoman, whatever. I don’t love Peter. I’ve always cared for him, ever since we were teenagers, but somewhere along the way I realized I don’t love him. I don’t want to spend my life with him.”
“Well, I think you’ve made a dreadful mistake!”
“Mom—”
Alicia withdrew her hand and stood up, trembling with anger. “All the things we’ve done for you, the privileged life you’ve led, and the education we’ve given you so you could do something with your life, something that would make us proud! And you want to run a daycare? For God’s sake, Arianna Eleanor Paget, you’re smarter than that! You’re better than that! I thought when you got engaged to Peter you were finally doing something right. Now you go and throw it all away!”
Ari set her mug on the bedside table. Her mother’s face was a dangerous pink. “Mom, please. It’s all right. I think teaching little children is the most important job in the world.”
“Well, I don’t! Look at what teachers get paid compared to lawyers!”
“Then things should change.”
“Oh, you think you’re going to set the world to rights, do you? You think you’re going to live in a house as nice as ours and wear nice clothes and change the world? How can you be so naïve?” Tears glittered in Alicia’s eyes.
Concerned for her mother, Ari stood up and reached out to hug her. “Mom. Mommy. It will be all right.”
Her mother shoved Ari’s arms away so quickly and angrily, it was like a slap.
“I am so ashamed of you!” her mother said. She pivoted on her heel and left the room.
Ari sank back onto her bed, hugging herself. Her mother had always had a temper, but this was unusual, and it worried Ari. Naturally, Ari had had arguments with her mother all her life, but this was different.
As worried as she was, Ari was also angry. Did her mother expect her to marry a man she didn’t love? And her mother was ashamed of her? Ari wanted to storm out of her bedroom and yell at her mother that she, Alicia, had never worked since she had married, she’d never sold an ice cream cone or baked a damn cookie or even volunteered, except for stupid clubs where all they did was hold galas. Her mother loved that sort of thing. No wonder Ari’s dad always looked so tired. Alicia was probably disappointed in her husband.
Too bad Peter couldn’t marry Ari’s mother. They’d be a perfect match.
The ridiculous thought made Ari laugh. She quickly sobered up, thinking of her parents’ marriage, which was so full of storms and distances.
* * *
—
Ari kept to her room that day. She unpacked, carried winter clothes, duffel bags, and old school books up to the attic. She had long, emotional talks with her friends on the phone. She napped. In the late afternoon, when she knew