eyes on me, but once I turn to catch his stare, he looks away. So, of course, I glare at him, soaking in every inch of his scowled but still gorgeous face.
As much as I know he hates me, the sight of him still makes my heart race.
I miss him. But, as soon as he turns my way, I become engrossed in the drawstring on my cotton shorts. The wall between us has hardened into such an impenetrable force, I don’t know if we’ll ever break through it.
By nightfall, Zane takes Faith to his house, Ryker calls to say Eliza is on a flight to LAX, and all the agents leave for their hotels. Only Jaxon and Everson remain.
Julian went into our bedroom hours ago, without a word to me. It hurt, but I tried not to let it show. To keep myself busy, I cleaned the disaster everyone left in the kitchen and living room, but by midnight, exhaustion wins out over determination.
Glancing up the stairs, I feel empty. My arms are empty. They ache to hold my baby. They ache to hold my husband. But one has been taken from me and the other doesn’t want me.
My gaze pulla toward the door to our bedroom once more.
I have to try.
To my surprise, the door isn’t locked. It pushes open with ease as I timidly walk in. Julian is on the furthest end of the bed, lying on his side with his back to me. Just by his erratic breathing, I know he’s awake. I’ve slept curled around the man enough times to know the rhythmic sound of his sleep.
Quietly, I kneel, first one leg, then the other beside him. He doesn’t move, so I sit down and place a shaking hand on his shoulder. Whenever I feel lost, Julian can always bring me back to safety. I’ve been floundering because he’s left me out to sea with no net.
Together, we’re invincible. If he shuts me out now, I don’t know what I’ll become.
I tremble as I wait for a response, swallowing dryly as seconds tick by. A muffled cry catches in my throat, and I start to pull my hand away. As my fingers scrape Julian's skin, his hand reaches across his chest and grab my fingers. With a strangled sigh of relief, tears spill down my cheeks as he slowly rolls over, his eyes shadowed in the dark.
I don’t care. I feel him.
Both hands lift and tangle in my hair, a move that reminds me of our early days. Brushing his thumbs across my cheeks, Julian spreads my salty tears into my skin. I close my eyes to soak in the moment. It means everything.
It’s us.
Whatever happens, I know in his touch, I can still feel his love.
That’s where the moment ends.
Tightening his fingers in my hair, he pulls me against him, fusing our mouths together in a punishing kiss. I try to speak, but he covers my mouth tighter and drives in harder. Within seconds, he has me under him, his fingers hooked in my shorts, dragging them down my thighs. Clad only in a pair of boxers, a simple jerk of the wrist has them off and on the floor.
I came to him for comfort, but I don’t stop whatever this is.
Julian isn’t a monster. I know in my heart if I told him no, he’d stop. I’m not scared of him. But the need to be in his arms, to find the peace we always have when we make love, outweighs the negative voices in my head.
Julian’s mouth is everywhere and anywhere, and it isn’t gentle.
I’m not stupid. He’s not making love to me. He’s not even fucking me. He’s using me to release his pent-up emotions.
He spreads my legs and drives into me without a word. Without a touch or caress. His hard cock impales me…punishing me. It thrusts with anger and purpose.
His hips slam.
His body grinds
His jaw tightens as he moves faster.
Fucks harder.
When it’s over, he drags his forehead across my chest, and I hold my breath. Usually, he settles in beside me and hold me against him so tightly I can’t breathe. Instead, he mutters something incoherently under his breath and pushes off me.
I release the breath I’ve been holding.
Julian sits up with his back to me and lowers his head, his elbows balanced on his knees. At a loss for words, I hesitate before reaching out to him. After what just happened, words are failing me, but I know we’ve