shitfaced on each other’s birthdays. It’s not optional.”
“That was the last time you drank?”
“No. I’ll have a beer or whatever. But I won’t get drunk. I’ve got a rule I never ‘drown my sorrows.’ Drinking has to be about having fun for me. Otherwise, if I drink when I’m angry or upset in any way, I wind up being a huge asshole.” He shrugs. “Plus, I have to eat and drink fairly clean most of the time to keep myself in shape . . .” He lifts his shirt, haphazardly, momentarily revealing the jaw-dropping grooves in his abs. “Looking like this is a big part of the job. And I can’t do it, unless I stay disciplined and committed.”
I lift my eyebrows in surprise. “Huh. I think ‘Rockstar Cliché Bingo’ requires you to drink like a fish, especially to drown your sorrows. The last time I checked, there were no bingo squares labeled ‘eat clean and stay disciplined and committed to maintain abs of steel.’”
Savage chuckles and takes the bottle from me. “Meh. I already check plenty of boxes in ‘Rockstar Cliché Bingo.’ No need to check them all off, right?”
“You think you’re a rockstar cliché?” I ask.
He looks at me, as if to say, Well, obviously. But he says, “If I’m not already, then I’m well on my way.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette. “Honestly, one of my biggest fears is that I’ll become so beholden to the money and fame and all the . . . expectation, I’ll forget who I am and why I do this. I’ll become exactly that—a cliché. A parody of myself.” He looks out at the dark ocean. “I mean, come on, I’ve got to think ‘dick pic trending on Twitter’ is at the center square on every ‘Rockstar Cliché Bingo’ card, right? So, I’m probably already fucked.”
I stare at his exquisite profile for a long moment, overcome by my attraction to him, and finally say, “I heard a rumor you posted that shot yourself—for publicity or whatever. True?”
He scoffs. “Not true.” He flicks some ash from his cigarette onto the ground. “I had nothing to do with it, other than I was stupid enough to take a shower after sex with someone I barely knew, without locking the door.”
I contemplate that response for a moment, while, again, admiring his gorgeous profile. His lips as he sucks on his cigarette. I hate cigarettes and don’t find them sexy. But I must admit the way Savage is sucking on that thing, and licking his lips in between, makes me wonder what it would be like to kiss him. To have him perform oral sex on me. Sex, sex, sex. Suddenly, that’s all I’m thinking about. Sex with Adrian Savage.
I clear my throat and motion to the cigarette between his lips. “Aren’t you worried you’re gonna get addicted? Nicotine is supposedly more addictive than cocaine.”
Savage shrugs. “Like I said, I only smoke when I’m drunk and feel the overwhelming urge to put something in my mouth.” He licks his lips again, this time even more suggestively than before. And, right on cue, I’m feeling the beginning stirrings of arousal again.
I shift my position on the ground, trying to alleviate the faint pulsing between my legs. “My dad was a heavy smoker and my sister and I once stole one of his cigarettes, when we were, like, nine and twelve. And the minute I inhaled, I thought I was going to die. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I’d ever tasted in my life.”
“And you’ve never tried it again?”
I shake my head. “Why would I, when I know how bad it is for me? Plus, I associate smoking with my father, and he’s not a good memory.”
“Is he dead?”
“No. Just out of my life. And good riddance.”
He holds up the bottle. “Cheers to that.” He takes a swig and hands it to me.
“Cheers to that,” I echo, before taking a long guzzle. “Uh oh,” I say. “Does this qualify as me drowning my sorrows, now that I’ve mentioned my asshole father?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. Probably.”
“You seriously never drown your sorrows?”
He shrugs. “You associate cigarettes with your asshole father. I associate being an angry, pissed off drunk with mine. Good riddance.”
“Cheers to that.” I take a swig and hand him the bottle.
“Cheers to that,” he echoes, before taking a long sip.
My heart is thundering at this unexpectedly amazing conversation. I don’t know how I thought this “confrontation” was going to go when I