else had stolen her away from me. Someone else had made it possible for her to resist me. Well, why not Charlie? He’s handsome and buff. A good guy, from what I can tell. And Laila made it clear, every time she was near him in my vicinity, that she liked him.
So, if Charlie isn’t the reason Laila didn’t come to my room, not even once, then what the fuck! I’m right back to feeling literal madness at trying to figure that woman out! How and why did she stay away from me for so long after Phoenix? If Laila didn’t start fucking Charlie after the night of the hot tub, then . . . does that mean she stayed away from me . . . simply because she’d lost interest in me? Because I hadn’t rocked her world, the way she’d rocked mine? Because she simply didn’t want me, the way I so desperately wanted her? Every single thought I’m having in this moment feels like a dagger not only to my ego, but to my heart.
With my pulse thumping loudly in my ears, I tap out a reply to Kendrick:
Me: I didn’t see that one coming. Gotta go. See you at the studio tomorrow.
Kendrick: Hold up. Call me now.
Me: Can’t. Sitting next to Laila in a car.
Kendrick: Don’t do it.
Me: Don’t do what?
Kendrick: Whatever scheme is already taking root inside your twisted brain. I only told you about Charlie’s husband to free you from the batshit jealousy you’ve been holding onto since the tour. Don’t turn around and throw this in Laila’s face. Don’t try to coax her into a conversation about Charlie so you can catch her in another round of lies. Let bygones be bygones, Savage. You’re happy now. BE HAPPY.
Me: I’m not going to throw this in Laila’s face. I’m not even going to mention it to her.
Kendrick: You lied to Laila, too, remember? In fact, you lied first about that waitress in NYC, and then about all those women you brought into her dressing rooms. Call it even and let it go. Otherwise, if you bring this up to her, you’d better be ready to tell her all the shit you lied about, too. And WHY you lied to her. The FEELINGS you were having when you did all that. Are you ready to open up about how obsessed and crazy you were, behind the scenes?
Me: Not even a little bit.
Kendrick: That’s what I thought. So, keep your big mouth shut.
Me: I will. Thanks for the info. Gotta go.
I plop my phone down onto the seat, facedown, between Laila and me, while Laila keeps tapping away on her phone. Why didn’t she want me the way I wanted her, during that last month of the tour? I just don’t get it.
“Who are you texting with?” I ask, when she still hasn’t looked up.
“Aloha.”
“You were with her all day.”
Laila calls up to our driver. “Hey, Mike, could you turn up the music, please?” When music starts blaring loudly, Laila looks sheepishly at me. She says, “I have something I need to tell you. It’s something I’m contractually not supposed to tell you or anyone else. But, screw it. I’ve already told Aloha and I don’t want to keep this from you any longer.”
My stomach twists. “Okay.”
Laila takes a deep breath. “I kept this from you because I didn’t want to burden you with it, or make you change the way you acted on-camera. I thought if you knew what I’m about to tell you, you might act differently on-camera, in a way that didn’t seem natural.”
“Spit it out, Laila.”
She bites her lip and exhales. “There’s a termination clause in my contract. A buy-out clause, by which the show can send me packing, at their sole discretion, at any time, without prior notice, by paying me a hundred grand.”
“A hundred grand? Jesus, Laila. No.”
She nods.
“A hundred grand is peanuts to them!” I whisper-shout, running my hand through my hair. “No wonder you’ve been so stressed out about what Nadine said yesterday.”
“I’m obviously on the chopping block, especially after we didn’t deliver today.”
“You should have told me about this the minute Nadine left my dressing room last night, Laila!”
“I didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. Plus, I thought I could handle this on my own. But after today, when you were so sweet to me and I didn’t have the heart to be anything but sweet back to you, I