by that point everything tastes good. But I came back and now …” He shrugs. “I like it here.”
“It has a weird charm to it.”
“No need to start being nice now.”
“No, really. It’s not every night I get to eat dinner surrounded by people with jaundice.”
Beck laughs. “Yeah, the lighting does make everyone look sick.”
“Except you.”
“What?” His blue eyes are bright.
I consider whether I should say what I’m about to or not. Fuck it. “You always look good.”
“Oh really?”
“And you know it.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it again.”
“Then you should have recorded me.” I pretend to look over the menu, but I’m pretty sure I’ll order the carbonara and be done with it. I’m way too aware of him to concentrate.
The woman comes back with our sodas and takes our orders.
When she leaves again, Beck kicks my foot. “Hey, Topher?”
“Yes, Teddy?”
“You know that I meant for this to be a date, right?” And holy shit, I’ve never seen Beck look as uncertain as he does tonight. The big eyes, the creased forehead—where is the confident guy I’m so used to bantering with? And while I have no idea what he means by asking me on a date, or being nervous, I do know that I like it.
“Then what are you doing over there?”
He swiftly slides out of his side and into mine, and by the time Beck is beside me, he’s back to being the guy I know. His full smile is on display as he plants his elbow on the table and angles his body toward me. “You knew this was a date.”
“I suspected.”
“And you came anyway.”
I think it over. “I guess I did.” I expect him to call me out on what that means, to push and tease, but instead, he lets it go completely.
“You want to know the real reason I like this place?” he asks.
“Sure.”
Beck looks down as he traces one of the gauges in the table. “It reminds me of what people say a home is supposed to be. The first time I walked in here I … felt warm inside.” He groans. “Geez, that’s lame.”
“It’s not lame.”
“It’s not a feeling I get a lot.”
I’m nervous as I lean forward. I have no idea what the people around us would think if they knew we were on a date, or if they notice I’m about to kiss him. I have no idea if someone is gonna cause a scene because of what I’m about to do. All I know is that Beck let me in, and I saw probably the most genuine side of him I’ve ever seen. And apparently when Beck is down, I have an overwhelming urge to boost him back up again.
I touch my lips to his. It’s fast, and not at all what I crave, but I hope he knows what I’m trying to make it mean. Which is stupid, because I don’t even really know.
I straighten up and move a bit closer. “You know sometimes I forget that just because you have money and you seem happy all the time, it doesn’t mean you don’t have things that get to you.”
“I have enough of those things to keep a psychologist in business for years.” And despite his words, he’s smiling as he wraps his leg around mine under the table.
“Wanna tell me any of it?”
“Are you going to use it against me?”
I give him a dry look. “Maybe when this is over, we go back to antagonizing each other, who knows? But I think we’re way past the high school bullshit, don’t you?”
“It only took us three years.”
“And multiple orgasms.”
He laughs. “And hopefully many more.” He lifts his drink like a toast, and I knock my glass against his.
“Many, many more.”
We take a drink, and as I lean back against the booth, I give in to my urge from earlier and set my hand on his thigh. We’re far enough away from campus that I don’t have to worry about being seen. No one’s bothering us even though we’re not being subtle about being here together. Some of my tension eases.
“So what are your plans after we graduate?” I ask.
“You’re full of questions tonight, aren’t you?”
“And you’re full of diversion tactics.”
His lips twitch. I want to kiss him again. “I think I’ve talked about myself enough.”
“You’ve told me one thing.”
“It’s more than I was planning.”
“Beck …”
“Look, my future is pretty much set, that’s why I don’t talk about it. All it does is depress me, and I prefer