stay in here anyway. I crashed into the edge of the desk as I walked back. Esteban walked forward quickly, as if on skates, and stood directly in front of me.
“You need to forgive me.” He reached out a hand and I half expected it to go straight through me.
He was admittedly a ghost, after all, wasn’t he? His hand touched my shoulder. It was light and quick just as I moved away, but it was enough to render me motionless, breathless, unable to do anything at all. The door to the study opened and River walked inside.
“Leave.” It was the only thing he said, his voice clear and loud, and the angry expression on his face as he looked in the direction of where Esteban was standing left no room for question.
When I turned my head to where my cousin had just stood, he was gone. I stumbled backward, my hand on the edge of the desk the only thing keeping me from falling as I began hyperventilating. What the fuck was that? What the hell just happened?
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” It was River, but he sounded like the man by the Devil’s Chair.
The thought occurred to me seemingly out of nowhere, but when my head whipped in his direction, I knew I was right. Not for the first time since I got here, I wondered what I’d gotten myself into and whether or not it would be too late for me to leave. My eyes grew tired, heavy, and suddenly, just like that, I fell asleep.
Chapter Eighteen
“No one needs to know about this,” Esteban said. “They won’t believe you anyway.”
I shook my head. I was scared, but I couldn’t bring myself to say no, to tell him to stop. I was wearing a skirt, so when he climbed over me and put a hand over my mouth and another hand between my legs, the only thing I could do was scream into it, shut my eyes tightly, and pray it would be over soon.
It was.
It was over sooner than I’d anticipated. I couldn’t bear to look at him. I looked out into the darkness instead, my gaze on the fog covering the streets, covering us. This was why Papi didn’t want me out at night when Carnival was set to happen. Bad things happened after dark, but Esteban had promised him I’d be okay, that he’d look after me, so Papi let me come anyway. A sob escaped my throat.
“Oh, come on, that wasn’t bad.” Esteban nudged my foot with his. “Someone had to do it and prepare you for the real thing. We don’t have time for that now though.”
I swallowed and tasted blood in my throat.
“I’m going to go get some leaves from that tree. It’s just across the gates. I’ll be right back.” He loomed over me. “Stay here.”
I nodded, biting my lip so hard I realized where the taste of blood was coming from. I listened as he left and then I cried. I cried until my face was full of snot and tears and my chest was heaving from it. When I was finished crying, I stood. Something wet trickled down my legs, and when I looked down, I realized I was bleeding. That made me cry again. Esteban was supposed to be my protector. Everyone said he was like an older brother to me since I didn’t have one. He wasn’t supposed to . . . he’d never done anything like that before. I started walking. He’d told me to wait, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. I was bleeding. I walked by the iron gates and saw that they were shut.
“Are you okay?”
I gasped and whirled to look behind me. There was a man, a figure, someone dressed in all black. I shook my head and swallowed. My lower lip started to shake and then I started to cry. I was crying so hard that I didn’t know how I ended up sitting in the Devil’s Chair again. I’d just sat there earlier, when my friends dared me to, but that was before they left.
“Make a wish,” the man said.
“I already did.” I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “I wished to be rich.”
“You already are.”
“No, my parents are rich. I wish to be rich myself.”
“What else do you wish?”
I bit my lip. I thought of Esteban, what he’d done. How he’d never own up to it. How things would go even if I did tell my parents