your full routine first so you get a feel for these bars. The equipment is different from ours, but if you keep your mind and body sharp, it will not be as bad as it seems. Do not stop when your heart drops, because it will, just keep going. After you complete your routine, I want you to get back in line and think about what you need to adjust and only warm up those skills. Small changes will add up to huge results. Do you understand?"
I nodded. "Which should I do first?"
"Compulsory."
I should've guessed he'd say that. Since compulsory had mandatory skills that every gymnast had to master, I'd have to prove myself capable before I could test Optional.
After I completed my warm-up, my nerves were a little jittery. I stood in line retightening my grips for no good reason with a racing heart. Kova had been right, every skill I did had felt different and I absolutely had to make some changes. My swing gave more, and my heart splattered to the ground a few times when I released. I knew it wasn't the best warm-up and that Kova would not be pleased, but I couldn't think about that right now. I didn't look in his direction, even though he was probably waiting for me to look for him. I just stared at the floor and visualized what I'd just done. I had to get in tune with my body and think about where I would make minor adjustments.
I needed to calm my stressed nerves.
The biggest issue would be timing. Timing was everything and I needed to adjust it just right for the routine to be executed properly.
Just as I was about to go my last time, Kova pulled me aside.
"What are you doing?" I shrieked in a whisper. "I'm going to miss my turn!"
It'd been drilled into our heads that everything was on a strict schedule and there would be no exceptions made. I seriously couldn't afford to lose my spot.
Kova placed his hands on my shoulders and calmed me with his touch. Looking directly into my eyes, he said determinedly but with a touch of tenderness, "Do not crack. You got that? Do. Not. Crack." I bit my lip.
After a full year of working so closely together, he knew when the weight of the moment got to me.
"I can see it in your eyes—you got nervous and that is okay, it is normal, but do not let that affect what you came here to do. Look into my eyes and see what I see. A warrior, a fighter, someone who gets kicked out but finds another way in. You are braver and stronger than you know. You are a fire that burns. Do not feed your doubts, Ria, feed your dream. Do not lose your focus." I nodded feverously, annoyed I'd shown emotion. "Now, do you want me to stand and spot you?"
I expelled a strenuous breath and nodded again.
"Look at me," he ordered. "Look in my eyes." He placed a hand on my shoulder and an eerie calmness seemed to wash over me. "Take a deep breath and release. Again." Then he smiled proudly at me and my stomach settled.
Words might have been lost on me, but Kova's thoughtfulness to ease my worries and spot me spread throughout my chest. Coaches were allowed to spot during the actual meets without receiving any kind of deduction. The spot was more for peace of mind. I'd never needed one in the past, but this was a whole new page in my storybook for me.
"I just want you to stand there."
Kova walked over and stood near the high bar. He got in position and waited for me. I was confident I could make the changes successfully but having him there quieted my fears. A comforting safety measure.
After I adjusted my routine, I also made the necessary changes to my optional routine. Kova was there the entire time. He didn't push me or ridicule me, he just let me do my thing. It was like a second chance to get used to the feel of bars.
My teammates and I moved onto vault. Just like with bars, I had two vaults I had to do—a front handspring double front tuck, and an Amanar. The only difference with vault was that I had two turns for each vault during competition as opposed to one. Both were extremely difficult, and both required minor changes that didn't frighten me in the way bars