"What the hell was that?" Kova questioned, striding up next to me. His eyes were huge and his hands were out waiting for an explanation. I reeled back, nervous with anxiety. I hadn't pulled the Amanar like I should have, which was why he wasn't happy. I freaked out in the middle of the twist and did a Yurchenko double instead. It wasn't uncommon for a gymnast to make the change midflight with this vault, but it would earn me a deduction in difficulty. The extra half-twist was hard as fuck to crank out.
"We need more flight."
I loved when Kova said we, because we were a team and that was important to me. He described with his body how I should be tucking and locking by making sporadic movements.
"Take one foot back in your start. Otherwise your block will suck again and you will not get the flight you need."
I glared at him when we got to the end of the runway. As if I didn't feel my shitty block.
"Okay," was all I said.
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and stomped my feet in chalk. I got into position a foot back and visualized what I was about to do. The changes felt great and I knew both vaults would be just like they were back at World Cup. Vault was my specialty. I excelled at it.
Floor was exactly what I had expected—super bouncy. I warmed up with a few passes to get a feel. Luckily, I hadn't gone out of bounds, but the height I reached made my heart plummet to the ground. I already flew pretty high as it was, so I reduced the steps in my tumbling passes to bring it down just a notch. I didn't need too much momentum.
Beam was same as any other day, but now it came with a slight wobble since it wasn't secured to the floor. I jumped, flipped, leaped, and it all came with a shake of the beam. I had to be extremely tight otherwise I'd be having balance checks every other second. In the press to handstand mount that went straight into my first combination sequence of a double back handspring into a full twist, I fell off the beam. My jittery nerves got the best of me and I shook more than I anticipated. Kova grunted under his breath loud enough to let me know how displeased he was with me, but I jumped back up, took a deep breath, and exhaled. Glancing ahead, I found my spot and began my routine, chanting to myself, I got this.
And I did. I fucking had this.
I concentrated on sticking every skill. I went deep and dark with my thoughts, into a different dimension, and only saw one word at the end of the tunnel. Success. The quickest way to overcome fear was hit it directly head on. I had to breach my comfort zone if I wanted to make any kind of advancement in this sport. I was my only limit—I decided my path. I was committed to this journey and I would succeed. I. Would. Make. It. Happen.
Once I landed my dismount without so much as a small step—I stuck it—I looked for my coach who was already making his way toward me.
As we walked side by side back to the resting area where my duffle bag was, Kova placed his hand on my lower back.
"I do not know what you did up there, but you caught me by complete surprise. Excellent work, Adrianna. You let go of your fear and allowed yourself to shine. You trusted yourself. I thought you may need a bit more work with this beam, but you shocked me and proved me wrong."
I sat on the floor and pulled up my knees in a butterfly position. "Gymnastics is so tricky," I said, unwrapping the ace bandages from my ankle. It alleviated some tenderness with my Achilles but not as well as the sports tape. "It's risky and messes with your head more than any other sport out there," I said as if it just dawned on me. "As much as I like to think I can control everything, I know I can't. So, if I stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong and think about all the things that could go right, and I try my absolute best, it should work in my favor. Should being the keyword." I chuckled to myself as I crumpled the bandage and dropped it