Every Little Piece - By Kate Ashton Page 0,31

hear above the wind. He returned a few minutes later, his face grim. I panicked.

“It was Seth.” He lowered his voice. “He wants me to drop you off at his house.”

“No.” The word spit out of my mouth. Then I gazed back out at the ocean, rocking.

“Haley.” He paused, probably hoping I’d make the right decision before he had to lecture me.

I cut him a break. After all, he’d brought me hot cocoa. “Fine.” I’d go talk to him only because I knew I needed to.

Noah drove me back to our town, but I hated being stuck inside this small car with all the doors still attached. I closed my eyes and gripped the armrest, trying to fight down the panic and the rush of memories.

He patted my knee. “We’ll be there soon. Hold on.”

But I was stuck. My heart beat a thousand miles every second. I was going to see Seth and I had no idea what to expect or what he wanted. All I knew was I missed him. In the span of a few days I went from worrying about his life, to not seeing him at all, to wondering what to do with the stranglehold on my emotions.

Noah pulled into the driveway. Their small cape brought back so many memories. I’d been there so many times. For pizza night and a movie. For Sunday family dinners. Just to hang out after school. His parents had accepted me as part of their family. This was different. I felt like I was about to enter for the first time. Nervous at what they were thinking about me. Any respect they had for me probably died that night.

I gripped Noah’s arm. “I can’t do this.” The judgmental look in their eyes, the pity. In fact, I couldn’t bear to face anyone again.

He pried my hand off his arm. “Yes, you can. You can do this.”

I studied him. His brown hair was the same exact color of mine. His eyes were the same greenish brown and I’d heard from multiple people that our social mannerisms were similar. If he were a few years younger we could be twins.

“Do you want me to wait for you?”

I glanced at the house. “No thanks. I’m hoping this will take longer than a few seconds. Seth can always bring me home.”

“Okay. Call me if you need to.” He practically pushed me out the door. “Go. No regrets.”

“No regrets,” I muttered and shut the door.

He pulled away, and I stood watching his taillights until they disappeared around the corner. I took some deep breaths and debated if I should run away or go knock on the door. But then the door opened, and I lost my chance.

I froze. Seth leaned against the doorframe, his hands shoved in his pockets. His face paled and he looked thinner. The happy-go-lucky glow was gone. I sucked in a quick breath. What had he been thinking these past few days? What did he think about me?

He stepped down, but my feet felt like they were stuck in mud.

He shuffled down the drive. I wanted to rush into his arms and sink into him but his hands were still in his pocket and he made no move to comfort or hold me. As with everything else in my life, our relationship had changed. I could feel it with every beat of my heart.

He pulled his hand out and his keys jangled. “Wanna go for a ride?”

“Not really. Unless you’re driving me home.”

Understanding crossed his face. “Sorry. That was pretty insensitive of me. Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

We started down the road, a thick, invisible wall separating us. He didn’t invite me in, and I couldn’t help but think it was because he couldn’t stand to be around me. This wasn’t about sex anymore. It might’ve been. But now he probably could only see me as the girl who killed her friends. I deserved his contempt and judgment.

“So,” he said.

I thought about what my brother said. No regrets. “Why didn’t you visit me in the hospital?”

He slowed and kicked at the stones on the sidewalk. “I wanted to,” he hesitated, “but you weren’t allowed visitors.”

There was more to it. Hiding in the shadows of his dark expression and in between his words, he was hurting. But I couldn’t be there for him. I couldn’t support him or hold his hand. I wanted to tell him how scared I was, how I was so glad he was alive, that I didn’t