left and he offered to stay with me, but I wanted to be alone. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry my heart out all by myself, which is exactly what I did.
Just last night everything had seemed perfect. Well, not perfect. The world was still being tortured with Fey and Lost Souls, but, between Alex and me, everything was amazing. We were connected in every single way possible and not like how we were when we had the Star’s energy in us. Everything was raw, breathtaking, moving, blissful. And then poof, once again the feelings are gone. Because he’s gone.
“Gemma,” I hear a voice say inside my head.
I blink though the veil of tears, propping my head up, and glancing around the room. “Hello?”
“I’m not out there,” he says. “But I’m still with you.”
“Dad?” I ask inside my head. “Is that you?”
“Yes,” he answers. “But I can’t talk for long… I’m not supposed to be communicating with you anymore.”
“Why?” I ask and then add, “I’m sorry I haven’t saved you just yet. I’ve been trying, though.”
“I don’t want you to save me. That’s not why I came here and I need to hurry, before I lose the connection.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Well, I never was never really alone, to begin with, but I wasn’t really being watched,” he replies sadly. “After what you did to Dyvinius—what Helena did—I’m being closely watched.”
I wince. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“I know you didn’t, but Dyvinius is still upset.”
“Upset because I had more power than him?” I ask, recollecting the memory of Helena doubting his legitimacy to how he got his leader position.
“That amongst most things.” He sighs. “I needed to talk to you, though. I needed to let you know that you’re not alone.”
“But I am, Dad,” I say. “Everyone’s either dead or being held captive… and I don’t… and I’m not sure if I can fix everything this time.” It strikes me like a whip; the reality that there might be too many problems this time and I might have to sacrifice some of them, but which ones? The world’s problems? Or my friends?”
“Maybe it’s time you stopped trying to fix everything,” he says. “Maybe it’s time to try and fix yourself.”
“Myself… what does that mean?”
“It means that maybe it’s time for you to change your life and give yourself something you’ve never had.” He pauses. “Maybe it’s time for you to live your life.”
“But I still have to fix everything before I get there,” I say. “I don’t want to live my life in a world ruled by Fey and Lost Souls, without the people I love.”
“That’s more possible than you think,” he says. “But it all depends on how much you want to give up.”
I pause. “What do you mean?”
He takes a deep breath. “What if I told you there was a way to change everything—start over. Would you do it?”
“Of course,” I reply eagerly. “Dad, tell me how?”
“I can’t tell you how, without interfering. And there’s something you need to understand about it.”
“Okay…” He’s always so cryptic.
“You need to understand that if you do decide to change everything—reset your life—everything that’s happened, both the bad and the good, won’t exist. You’ll be starting from scratch.”
“So everything—the Star, my unemotional life, even Alex—would be gone?”
“Maybe,” he answers. “Unless it was also meant to be in another life.”
I silently take it in, thinking about how many things I wish were gone, but there are some things—love, friendship, even some painful experiences—that I’m not sure I could give up. “How do I do it? Please, just tell me.”
It goes quiet in my head.
“Dad!” I shout, glancing around the room, knowing I won’t find him. “Dad, don’t leave.”
The silence is my only response. It doesn’t make any sense. Reset time? With a vision? Or something else? I wish that, for once, my dad would just say what he was getting at, instead of making it like a scavenger hunt. I’m tired of playing games.
I sit for what seems like an eternity and the pain returns to my body as I think of Alex. Finally I decide to get up and be strong because Alex is alive, which means there might be a way to fix it—bring him back. First, I’ll save Aislin and Aleesa, then Alex, because that’s what he’d want me to do. If and when I get it all fixed, I’ll start looking into what my dad said. Right now, I need to save my friends
I push