blood. Everything is bleeding and as I raise the lid completely my heart starts to bleed too.
Lying inside it is Alex. His eyelids are sealed, his lips are slightly separated with a purplish tint to them, and his skin is ashen. His hands are overlapped on his stomach and he’s wearing a black suit. Blood continues to soak down on me, drenching my hair, my skin, my dress, the floor as I slide my hand away from the lid towards him—towards his arm. Wrapping my fingers around his ice-cold wrist, I rotate it over and inch the bottom of his sleeve up where the outline of the black star should be. Our forever mark, but it’s gone.
Our forever is gone.
I’m ripped away from the future and back to reality. Alex is gone.
Really gone.
And I’m here.
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to move—breathe.
I continue to stare blankly at Evan, praying that somehow he can alleviate the piercing pain and sharp needles that feel like they’re swimming inside my body and mind because it hurts and I swear my heart is bleeding to death.
“Just try not to move for a minute.” He leans closer to me, blocking out the sunlight with his body. “I’m going to try and help you the best that I can.” He keeps his hand on my forehead and the warmth flowing through his skin is comforting; not only for the pain in my body, but for the pain in my heart. I shut my eyes and bask in the sensation, absorbing the numbness seeping through me. Numb. That’s what I want to feel. I picture Alex and the last time that we kissed each other, how our lips and bodies melted together. I remember the way his hands kept brushing across the bottom of my shirt, where a sliver of skin peeked out. We belonged together. We always will.
A tear falls down my cheek as Evan removes his hand from me, taking the sense of comfort with him. My shoulders heave as I start to sob. Evan tries to console me, but it doesn’t do any good. Alex and I have endured so much before we could finally be together, all so it could be fleeting, like a breath of air leaving my lungs.
I continue to cry, heart-wrenching sobs that rip the air out of my lungs and splinter my rib cage.
“I’m so sorry, Gemma. Really, I am.” Evan says in an unsteady voice and I open my eyes, seeing the sincerity and genuine remorse in his own.
I whisper in a hoarse voice, “It’s not your fault.”
He looks away, trying to hide the guilt on his face. “Yes, it is.”
Twisting my head, I look over at Alex’s body. He doesn’t look the same as in the coffin—he looks worse. I roll onto my side and, clawing at the floor, I drag myself over to him. His eyes are open, but sunken, and his lips are parted. His skin is mapped with veins and his chest isn’t moving. He’s dead. No, he can’t be. I’m conflicted and confused. Overwhelmed and enraged.
I rest my head on his cold chest and tears start to spill out of my eyes again. Evan watches me, but doesn’t try to comfort me or pull me away. He lets me grieve. Eventually, he leaves the room and this time he doesn’t return.
“Alex,” I whisper as tears soak my eyes, cheeks, and his shirt. “Why did you do it? Why couldn’t you just let me, for once, be the one to go… I don’t want to be alone.”
There’s no response and my will to live dissipates, evaporating into the air. I cry until I’m so exhausted that nothing is left except anger.
I’m angry.
Angry at him.
Angry at myself.
Angry at Helena.
She got her revenge just as she wanted—she killed Alex. But it’s not over. I’ll get my revenge on her just like she taught me.
Chapter 5
Gemma
I swear love is the most powerful emotion that’s ever existed. It owns people, devours them, tears them open and bleeds them out from the inside, making them defenseless to everything. Hate is the same way. Hate takes your levelheadedness and even your sanity away from you.
I hate Helena. I completely, utterly despise her with so much passion it has stolen my heart. I’m hollow. Numb. Just like I used to be back when all this started, back when I didn’t know what kind of a world really existed. Back when I was the unemotional Gemma. I run my