man I’d wanted for so long—finally in the exact spot where he belonged.
He pulled out slowly, but despite his care, a twinge of pain caused me to wince. He shifted to the side, and I felt for his hand in the darkness to connect us. He squeezed my fingers. I held my breath, waiting for him to say something, anything. Instead, mere seconds later, his breathing changed, and soft snoring filled the silence.
I wasn’t offended. Kim, my best friend, had told me that often happened with guys. She’d read it was something to do with the hormones they released during orgasm. Not to mention, Ryker had come home steaming drunk, so it wasn’t all that surprising he’d crashed.
I lay there in the dark, processing what had happened. Tomorrow, we’d tell Elliot. He wouldn’t be happy at first. He’d probably shout a lot, but that was only because he loved me, and he loved Ryker. In the end, he’d be happy that his little sister had chosen a man who’d cherish her always.
Ryker’s semen trickled down my leg. I didn’t go and wash up. I wanted the signs of our lovemaking to mark me. I might never wash again. Okay, that was gross. I would, of course, but not tonight. Not until the morning.
With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes and promptly fell asleep.
As it turned out, my joy was short-lived. The next morning, Ryker had awoken, his horror at what we’d done evident. I could still recall his sharp, clear gaze glaring at me, full of disgust. His cutting words that, even now, seven years later, sliced through me sharp as a scalpel as he’d scrambled to dress, while I’d strained to hold on to the tears that threatened to spill over.
“What the fuck have you done, Athena? What the fuck have we done? Jesus Christ. If Elliot finds out, our friendship will be over, and I will never forgive you. Actually, strike that. I will ruin you. You’re nothing to me other than my best friend’s kid sister. You got that? The sooner you accept the truth, the sooner you’ll realize I’m not your guy. Stop pining over me like a lovesick puppy—it’s a real turn off—and go find a boy more your speed.”
From that day to this, everything I’d ever done had been an attempt to get Ryker’s attention, to show him he was wrong, that we were worth it. That I was worth it.
Every strategy I tried had failed.
Over the ensuing years, Ryker paraded several girlfriends in my face. The young, innocent me morphed into a slightly older, bitter me. On the occasions Ryker brought girls to my mom’s house for dinner, I’d do something awful. Once, I slipped a laxative into his date’s drink, and she’d spent the night on the toilet. Another, I’d discovered that cilantro brought her out in a rash, so I chopped some up and stirred it into the onions and peppers we’d served with the fajitas.
Awful, yes. But I was angry, and hurt, and desperate.
Fortunately for me, my actions had gone undiscovered and, over time, I grew out of such childish behavior.
But I’d never gotten over Ryker.
Unable to sleep, I climbed out of bed and went back into the living room. The freaking babysitter cagily gave me the side-eye from his comfy spot on the sofa. Stomping over to the mini bar, I prepped a gin and tonic, noisily dropping ice into the cut-crystal glass—only the best for Ryker.
“Mine’s a scotch.”
I turned around slowly, narrowing my eyes. “Good for you,” I drawled, my tone icier than the frozen water floating on top of my drink.
Don’t be a bitch, Athena. He’s only doing his job.
“Sorry.” I sighed, offering a faint smile. “I don’t mean to be rude.” I poured him a drink and took it over.
His smile came slow, his expression smooth and unconcerned with my spiky attitude. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
I returned to the guest bed and climbed under the covers. As I sipped my drink, my chest ached from the vivid memories of the night that set me on this course to destruction. Ryker’s untimely presence in the very last place I expected to find him had forced me to face up to one stark fact: running hadn’t tempered my feelings for him one iota. The only option left open to me now was to accept the situation and live with the consequences.
Good or bad.
3
Ryker
I texted my driver on the way down to the lobby, instructing him to bring the car