memorized until it was indelibly inked on my senses—made my fingertips itch to explore.
An ache spread through my chest. Ryker always managed to tip me off-kilter. Even when he pissed me off, when he behaved unreasonably, when he made me hate him, I still wanted him. But when he showed kindness, I couldn’t resist. Like an addict craving their fix, I leaned in, desperate for contact. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, the touch of his skin so gentle that a glimmer of hope sparked within me. Maybe there was still something there, a flicker of attraction, one I could nurture and turn into a flame and then a blazing inferno.
“Hiroto was blackmailing me.”
Ryker’s eyebrows shot up, almost disappearing into his hairline. “Excuse me?”
I heaved a deep sigh. “He caught me stealing his wallet.”
It had been as a result of a game of truth or dare with a bunch of backpackers I’d met on my travels. I’d been asked to describe my first sexual experience. I chose dare because the thought of sharing the best and worst night of my life with a bunch of virtual strangers brought me out in hives. Of course, I wasn’t really going to steal the wallet. I’d intended to return it as soon as I proved I’d achieved the dare. When Hiroto caught me, I told him the truth, but he refused to believe me.
“He threatened to call the police, said he knew people high up in the Japanese police force, that he’d have my ass thrown in jail for years if I didn’t do what he wanted. I believed him. He told me I had to complete a full month working in the club and then my debt would be paid. I’ve only been there a few days, Ryker, I promise. No one touched me. Not like that. Never like that.”
Ryker got to his feet, scraped a hand through his hair. “Why, Athena? Why would you steal? You have enough money to buy Japan, for fuck’s sake.”
“Wrong,” I replied flatly. “Elliot has enough money to buy Japan. I have nothing. I am nothing. I’m no one. I don’t matter.”
Ryker’s face twisted, but before he could patronize me with empty platitudes, I stood and walked briskly into the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind me. I climbed under the covers and held my breath, waiting for Ryker to follow.
He didn’t.
5
Ryker
I tossed and turned all night. Athena’s parting salvo kept running through my head. I have nothing. I am nothing. I don’t matter.
Those statements couldn’t be further from the truth, and yet they’d come from the heart. She really, truly believed every word.
So many questions…
What did she mean when she referred to having nothing, being nothing?
She was everything.
And why did Athena think those things about herself? What was going on in that gorgeous head of hers that made her truly believe she didn’t matter? She had two parents who loved her unconditionally, a brother who assumed the role of genie when it came to her. Whatever she wanted, he fell over himself to give her. Elliot would move mountains if it brought Athena an extra hour of happiness.
And me. She had me.
Except she didn’t know that, did she? And even worse, I couldn’t tell her. If I did, she’d harbor false hope of something more. Yet it could never be, not in the way she deserved. Sure, we could fuck each other raw… but we didn’t have a future. Elliot would never accept a relationship between me and Athena.
How did I know this? Because once, a few years ago, he caught me checking Athena out after one too many glasses of champagne. He sidled up to me and stood there, saying nothing, his eyes sparkling like cut glass. When I’d asked him what the fuck he was looking at, he’d said, “A dead man if you ever lay a finger on my sister.”
What’s more, I believed him.
But for Athena to think she somehow had little value to those who loved her… I couldn’t let that slide. I needed to find a way to ground her, to give her something to strive for, to work for. I’d never considered how difficult it must be for her since ROGUES had taken off. How rudderless Elliot’s endless riches made her feel. Most people spent hours dreaming of hitting the jackpot, winning the lottery, having more money than they could ever hope to spend, but unless you had goals, that stuff got old real quick.
For