she is going to forgive and forget, Reed?” she spits.
“She will,” I say, grabbing my Fairtex boxing bag that has my clean clothes in it.
“I’ll wait for you, Reed.” Her voice cracks.
That stops me. “Why? Why would you even want that?” I have to bite my tongue not to tell her to get therapy.
“Lexi.” I use my commanding voice since that seems to be the only way she listens. “I’m never letting her go. I never have.”
Suddenly I realize it’s true. I’ve been waiting for her, never letting her go in my heart. And now she’s back with blond hair and puffy lips. With a fire in her that I know will feed my addiction.
Lexi looks at me. “She’s going to hurt you, Reed. Break you because she can. When that happens, when she does something you can’t forgive, you will need to get control back and I will be there for you. You are my master. Whether it’s now or ten years from now.” Her voice is eerily calm.
I’m done with her crazy shit. “Lexi, go find someone who is like you and be happy. It’s not me. Now, I’m going to take a shower.” Gently I push her out, locking the door.
I’m smiling. It’s done. And Tess is back. I need her to forgive me. The enormous void that has been present is gone. I want to breathe her light, her sweetness, her innocence. I have to convince her to trust me again. I promised all her firsts would be my firsts. I’ve ruined that one. But I’ll never stray again. She is my lifeline. My soul.
Stripping off my board shorts, entering the shower, I let the hot water cascade over my tight muscles. My mind replays the day. As I hang my head, the water massages my neck and back. And her beautiful face comes to me. This time I don’t fight it and lean my head back, and there she is, lips parted, her naked body slick with water. Groaning, I reach for the soap. My hand fists my thick cock, stroking it up and down. Closing my eyes, I kiss Tess. She tastes like she always does. Sweet like candy. I suck on her fleshy bottom lips, and then my tongue fills her mouth. I hear her sigh and moan. My hand quickens, my breathing harsh.
As I stroke myself, her face shows she is ready to come. She tells me she loves me. Forgives me for not sharing our first time.
My eyes snap open, “Shit!” I’m so close, I jerk myself harder, trying to block out that I desperately want to be her first. I want it so badly. The damage is done, and my vision of Tess is gone. Closing my eyes, pumping myself roughly, all I see is her beautiful face, laughing with someone else. Her long legs wrapped around another guy. Her swollen lips sucking another’s dick. Tess’s head thrown back as she comes.
“Fuck.” I hit the tile, feeling the burn in my hand. When I bring my fist up, it’s puffy and red. The pain reminds me of the last three years. Tilting my head back, I grab my throbbing cock with my sore hand and jerk it hard until my balls tighten. The searing pain causes me to explode; thick ropes of semen shoot out. I lean my forehead on the cool tile and let the water soothe me and calm my breathing. Turning off the water, I open the large glass doors and step out.
That will go down as the worst masturbation session in history. I’m angry again. How am I going to get her back?
Lexi’s right. How am I going to get her to forgive and forget about the other women? And if she is not a virgin, which is a strong possibility, how do I forgive her? Fucking someone else. Giving a stranger my first!
Yeah, that hurts!
I reach for my heart and massage my tattoo. Grabbing a fluffy towel, I do a quick dry off and toss it in the corner. I throw on my clothes, not wanting to waste another second without her. Even if she hates me, I will win her back. I’m done waiting.
Once I’ve packed all my shit in my bag, I head out.
Looking over, I see Lexi’s door open. I stop and stick my head in to tell her I’m out.
“Lexi, I’m leaving.” Yet what I see makes me drop my bag.
She’s on the floor, her back to me, her skinny body