having an ethnic minority on the shortlist?”
“Don’t be silly. When is it?”
“January eighth.”
“Do you want me to come up?”
“No, you needn’t. But if I could come and see you for a few days beforehand?”
“We’d love to have you. Always. Any time.” There is a short silence between Bristol, England, and Ardrossan, Virginia. “And how are you—otherwise?” she asks discreetly.
“Well, I’ll say it like they say in the movies: ‘I gotta get outta here!’”
“I’m sorry, Anna. Unrequited love is really the last thing you need during your first year on a new job. Or, at all, really.”
Have I not spoken to Debbie since I overheard Giles and Amanda in her office?
“That’s not quite the state of, um, affairs any more. Giles and his wife are divorced. He would have an affair with me, if I wanted to, or perhaps it would be more truthful to say that I —” My voice catches in my throat. “Anyway, I’ll end it. I will, Debbie.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how much do you like him? Anna?”
“Eleven. Twelve. A hundred.” My laugh doesn’t sound like a laugh at all.
“Then maybe you should risk it. If you love him, you should risk it.”
“I won’t.”
“Anna, what if he is your beshert?”
My heart misses a beat, and I have to grab the edge of the desk for support.
“I don’t believe in beshert.”
Giles Cleveland is not the man cut out for me by Fate to be my partner in life. That is what the Yiddish word beshert literally means. Cut out to be someone’s soul mate. I just hope that Giles isn’t cut out to be my Nemesis.
Chapter 32
MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE ABOUT SELENA, dormant while I was grieving over the affair I cannot have with Giles, prods me into action when I come home from work on Tuesday and give way to the O’Neals’ Toyota Land Cruiser driving through the gate, followed by Pop and Howie in the truck. I stand holding the gate and just catch sight of a brown and gold furry bundle on the truck bed. A bolt of anguished recognition courses through my body. I stare, and the truck’s outline blurs as tears run down my face.
I was so proud of myself for not blubbing over Giles and the mess at college. But my feline acquaintance is a loss that pushes me over the edge.
“I saw they shot the bobcat.”
With Karen alone at home, I make my move. She is preparing supper but assures me, as usual, that I am not in her way. She sits me down with a mug of tea and a cookie and goes on peeling potatoes.
“Hmm? Oh, yes! It’s been around for a few weeks, and Pop finally got it.”
Any further comment, any protest or question, would make me sound so much like a greenhorn from the city that I give it up.
“Do you know that you make me feel very young every time I come here?”
She laughs. “Would you care to explain that, please?”
“Well, you’re so…motherly, I feel like a kid coming home from school. A drink, a cookie, and then I’ll go up to my room and do my homework.”
Her face darkens. “Maybe you’d like to give that daughter of mine a hint about how to appreciate what she’s given.”
But I’m not here to talk about Jules the Grouch.
“So the O’Neals were here?” Floating my balloon gently in the breeze.
“Yes, the men are on work detail at the church. They’re overhauling the yard.”
“How is Lorna holding up? There’s talk of her losing her job for talking to the press.”
“Do you know, I think she’s satisfied.” Karen rests her potato and knife on the table. “She is the most self-righteous woman I have ever met—no competition! And God forgive me, but I envy her. No self-doubts! No second-guessing!”
“How long have you known them?”
“Quite a while. Pop and Howie struck up a friendship at church with Lorna’s husband, Bill. The girls are close enough in age to play together, so that’s convenient. You can imagine that Lorna isn’t really my type, nor Shirley’s, but we make an effort. Keeping quiet is all it needs, really.” Karen pulls a face at me, embarrassed at speaking ill of someone who evidently considers her a friend.
“And Selena is the eldest?”
“Yes, Selena, Sidney, Stephen, Stacy, and Susanna.”
“Karen, will you tell me your honest opinion of Selena without asking me why I want to know?”
Karen looks up without betraying any sign of surprise.
“You mean apart from the fact that she is pregnant?”
All I