not go back to that too young thing. It makes us both unhappy.”
Judd nodded, not seeming convinced. He turned, angled towards Colin so he might stroke over Judd’s chest. Judd’s eyes were bleeding yellow, hot and fierce. Colin felt the ache in his own gums, his canines tasting desire.
Judd looked down at Colin’s fingers, tracing patterns over his skin. “God, I love your hands, Gingersnap.” As if Colin’s touch were a benediction.
Colin told himself to grow a fucking backbone. He owed Judd. Because otherwise the enforcer would keep doubting him and doubting them. There wasn’t any other way to reassure Judd without giving him the whole truth. Every single part of it. “Do you know what I thought the first time I saw you?”
“No. You’ve never told me.”
“I thought you were the most gorgeous and the most sad man I had ever seen.”
“Sad, huh?”
“Sad.” Colin reached for that memory, trying to explain. “And I thought you were meant to be my mate.”
“What?”
“Listen to me, Judd. You started this thing between us, twisting me about, offering me lessons and shit. Pretending I’m too young to know who I am and what I want. And you forgot something really fucking simple.”
“I did?” Ancient werewolf – big-eyed, startled. Enforcer – gruff, hopeful, looking for leadership. Looking for a reason to exist, for a purpose, for something to protect and take care of. Always, enforcers, they cared more than anyone else in the pack. People forgot that. People thought that enforcers fought because they were the strongest. That they were closest to their wolf. That they were warrior and guardian. And enforcers were all those things, but not because they were physically the most fit, but because they cared the most.
Judd’s eyes were still the saddest thing Colin had ever seen. He hated that and he intended to fix it.
“What did I forget, Gingersnap?”
“You thought I was yours. You were wrong.”
Judd jerked back, devastated.
“No, listen to me!” Colin hadn’t realized how fierce he could be. How much iron was in him. How much enforcer. Judd’s lessons had taught him more than just desire, they’d taught him a new way of caring. His hands, free from touching Judd, gesticulated wildly as he spoke. And for once, he didn’t care, he didn’t mind, because he needed them to help him explain.
“You’re mine. And maybe, as I get older, as I learn all the things I can be, I’ll develop that ego you all think I should have. I’ll learn to be okay being noticed, and being loved, and being in a pack that supports me. Then I’ll be yours. That’s going to take time. Because I am young, and I can’t give you everything until I have enough of myself to give. But that’s not where you are. You’ve been waiting for me a really long time, Judd. And you’re so much you. You’ve excess of yourself, and you really needed to give it, share it out. So you gave it to me. Probably in that very first moment. And I am really smart. I know what that means, and what a gift it is. And I’m going to fucking treasure it – treasure you. I will take such good care of you, Judd. Because I’ve never had anything that was mine before. And then today I woke up and I realized I got to have you and that’s the best anyone could ever get, no matter how long I live. I will never forget that. Because I’m not an idiot. So just stop testing me already. Just be mine. Okay?”
Judd ripped his eyes away from Colin’s beautiful, fluttering hands. Colin’s face was flushed but determined. His eyes glittered orange, intent and earnest. He smelled of spiced memories.
Judd lunged across the bed, landed on top of him. He braced himself but only slightly. Judd was twice Colin’s size, but Colin was a werewolf. He could take it.
Colin made an oof noise. He wrapped skinny arms tight about Judd’s neck. He smiled against Judd’s cheek. He ghosted warm breath over Judd’s skin.
They clung, inhaling each other.
Trust, like warm fresh blood, burst over Judd’s tongue. Nourishing and feral. Heated down his throat into his chest. The deadly responsibility of loving another person. Worse, letting them love him back. The reality of it bled into him. Judd would have to care for Colin’s heart now, as well as protect Colin’s body.
It was terrifying.
It was perfect.
Judd rolled them over, put Colin on top. That way he could unbutton and pull