sunscreen, her cheeks and nose have a tint of red, making her freckles stand out.
My wife gets more beautiful each year. There’s nothing more I want to do right now than carry her to bed, or hell, to the car so we can avoid all that uncomfortable “We fucked at your place” business, but I don’t. We’re not having sex, but we’re still connecting. Natalie’s always been my favorite person to talk to. My best friend.
I dig out my phone and bring up the camera. Focusing on her, I take her picture.
She senses me and blinks when she sees me taking her photo.
I pocket the phone. “You’ve been taking so many pictures, but there’s not enough of you.”
“Thank you.” She smiles shyly and pats the spot next to her. We swing idly for a few quiet moments.
She inhales softly. The wind gently ruffles her curls. “I never understood why people kept a cabin and a house. I always thought it was twice the work. But this kind of relaxing is a different plane of existence.”
“Abby wants to come here again next month.”
Natalie looks at me. “What’d you say?”
“That it’s a good idea. Maybe we can tent camp.”
“I don’t know if that’ll be as relaxing,” she says wryly. “But it sounds like fun.” We fall silent for a few more minutes and watch pink and orange hues paint the sky as the sun begins to set. “What were you thinking about over dinner?”
“That I don’t feel divorced.”
“Oh.” She goes still. My foot is the only one making the swing move, its faint squeaks fading into the night. “I guess that does raise some questions about what we do… how we’re going to know that…” She blows out a gusty breath. “I don’t want to plan a freaking wedding.”
I chuckle and tug her closer to me on the seat. “I don’t need a wedding to get married to you. But legally, we’ll have to do something if we want to be officially married.”
“The girls will want to be involved.”
“Your parents?”
She nods, then quirks a brow. “Your parents?”
We both snicker. “I’ll just go ahead and RSVP a no for them.”
Natalie is my dream girl, but she isn’t the one they pictured me with. They had visions of someone who came from money, already possessed a prominent name, and would demurely stand by my side while I ruled the world—all while they made comments about how I should’ve ruled the world a few years earlier if I was really that good.
I don’t know if I was an accident for them, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was an heir and a spare type deal. They just never thought they’d need the spare, and here I am, a family man living in the Midwest. How unimportant of me.
It was easier for them to blame Natalie for my perceived failures. At least they weren’t the shittiest grandparents. When they were around, they loved hearing the girls’ stories and my mother enjoyed chatting with them.
They just never come to visit and they travel so much that we can never plan to visit them.
Natalie lays her head on my shoulder. “How do we know?”
She doesn’t need to clarify. How do we know when we’re solid enough to say our vows again? My answer is easy. “I could do it tomorrow.”
She doesn’t respond.
“Natalie?”
Lifting her head, she doesn’t hide the indecision in her eyes. “It hasn’t even been two months. I don’t want to rush something so important.”
I’m more crestfallen than I expected. Natalie’s always been the more pragmatic one in our relationship, thinking of all the ways things can go wrong. Does she have to be that way when it comes to me?
I’ve just got to keep doing what I’m doing to earn her trust, to get us to a place where she has zero qualms about saying I do again.
We’re just not there yet.
Chapter 19
Natalie
Simon’s unloading the car and I’m unpacking our bags and the kids are helping arrange the fishing gear so I can take it back to Dad. My mind’s going a mile a minute.
The Fourth of July holiday stretched into a week with the trip and I haven’t done anything to prepare for the kids’ upcoming week. Groceries need replenishing, laundry needs to be done, and I haven’t even looked at how behind I am on my own job and half-marathon training.
I zip into the office to peek at the calendar. Ugh. Swimming lessons start this week, on top of their sports sampler