I told about my decision to file for divorce—after my mom found me sobbing on the bathroom floor. It was easier to tell her about that than it is to fill her in on last week and the upcoming week.
“So… he’s staying?” Her voice brims with disbelief.
“It’s a bad idea, isn’t it?”
Her sunglasses aren’t dark enough to hide her blink. “Well. It depends.”
“Depends on what?” I hang on her answer. We’ve grown close the last several months. I was divorcing when her husband was deploying. Our relationship grew deeper, and more necessary, for each of us. Our circumstances are different, but a lot of our feelings and experiences are the same.
“A few things.” She tucks a dark lock of hair behind her ear. Her toddler Braxton plays on a blanket in front of us. “First, what each of your expectations are. You expect help. He says he’ll help you, but is he really trying to get back together?”
“I don’t know.” I haven’t thought of Simon’s hidden motives. He doesn’t usually have any. He sets his goals and he diligently works toward them. For too long, his only goal was to make his business succeed.
Has his goal changed?
No, of course not. But maybe an additional goal? Or maybe he really wants to help me.
“Hold your limits or it might turn ugly. You had an amicable divorce. I’d hate for it to turn bad because he thought staying the week meant the bedroom door was also open to him.”
“He’s not like that.” The kiss in the office rears up in my memory. I’ve staunchly repressed it since it happened. “But we did kiss.”
She whips her head toward me, her eyes wide. Taking her glasses off, she glances around before she hisses, “What?”
“I mean, he is the most eligible bachelor in the state.” My joke doesn’t soften her shock.
“Nat. And you let him stay another week?”
I lift a shoulder. “It sort of just happened. We haven’t talked about it.”
“But he asked to stay after it happened?”
“Yes,” I sigh.
“He wants you back.”
I know the answer but that doesn’t make it better. “I think so.”
“And let me guess—he still has no clue why you presented him with divorce papers in the first place.”
“He does.” I watch Abby trek across the field. I have a feeling I’ll be signing her up for soccer in the fall. “But I don’t think he understands. It’s the weirdest thing. He’s so supportive, but he’s also clueless when it comes to the circumstances that led to the failure of our marriage.”
“Because the marriage served him well. You took care of the kids. You took care of the house and the bills and the running around. He went to work and came home and worked more while you did everything else.”
I don’t have a reply. Why do I get it, and Rachel gets it, my parents get it, but Simon is alone on an island with nothing but a sense of abandonment? “I can’t kick him out now, though. This morning, he worked out at home so I could run to the gym and train with Aleah. Tonight, he’s supposed to be around so I can work in the office.”
Rachel snorts. “He keeps doing that and you’ll be the one to suggest another week.”
“I can’t deny that it’s nice to have him around—when he’s actually mentally and physically around.”
“I miss that.”
I send her a sympathetic smile. “Want me and the girls to come by Friday and entertain the kids while you run some errands?” She’s starting to shake her head, but I talk over her answer. “Bring the kids to my place. If Friday doesn’t work, we’re setting a date now.”
A smile finally lifts her lips. “Twist my arm. I dream of cleaning house without them undoing it behind me, and just sitting in it for a few hours, enjoying the quiet and the organization.”
“Deal. Friday?”
“Friday. But I don’t want to interrupt your time.”
“Simon won’t get home until after six.”
Rachel shoots me a side-eye and I realize what I said, and how I said it.
“This is hard.”
“You still love him.” It’s not a question.
“It’s hard not to. If he had cheated, if he’d been messing around, if he was an asshole… I could get over him. But he’s a good guy.”
“You think he’s abstained the whole time you’ve been gone?”
I bristle at her sardonic tone. Simon’s a good-looking guy. With a nice body. And a huge bank account. He also has a charming personality to match. “I honestly think so. He’s