the long strands that were almost completely red now.
My parents nodded, gleams of excitement touching their unlined faces.
"Oh yes," Deloria said. "You’re covered in our stone. The sign of one that will inherit the power of the gems. A true future leader for our people."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to run far and fast because I was no princess. They must have seen the panic on my face, because the mirror was whipped away, that foreign reflection gone from sight.
"Breathe," Jepati said gruffly. "Work through the anxiety and find your way to the other side."
A familiar face always helped during the rare times a panic attack hit me, but unfortunately these two were not familiar enough.
Jacob.
I wished he was here with me; he'd know what to do.
"Are Cam and Gretley in their lands?" I asked, my breathing embarrassingly loud. "I need them."
My mother nodded. "Yes, they're both learning how to take their place as the next leaders of their jewels. I’ll contact them through the jeweled system."
She turned to do whatever she had to do, and I closed my eyes, searching for a place of solitude. I couldn't be here with this level of pressure on me. I wasn't in any position to control jewels and take responsibility for actual living, breathing fey. I couldn’t even keep a fish alive for fuck’s sake.
I could barely take care of myself.
"You're stronger than you think," Jepati said, somehow reading my mind.
He didn’t know me well enough to make judgement calls like that. Not yet.
"You have no idea what I've done in my life," I told him harshly. "The shit I’ve lived through. The many, many, ways I fell. I have fallen so fucking far that at times I couldn't even see the sky, I was that deep in shit. Now you want to tell me I'm a princess who will control jewels and lead our people to a bright future?" I sucked in a deep breath. "I'll tell you what will really happen ... you'll end up in the shit with me. It's best you never rely on me to lead anybody."
His face was creased in disappointment. There was concern there too, but I could tell I was failing him, and that was just great. One more flaw to add to my list of fuck-ups.
"There’s no rush,” he said stiffly. “Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
By now Deloria was back from her jeweled call and overheard the last of our conversation.
“Let’s start with building our family relationship," she said. "Really get to know each other. The rest will work itself out."
"My friends?" I asked, swallowing hard. I was being rude, but part of me thought it was rude of them to expect I would just jump right into the life they expected of me. Maybe I’d been born a princess, but then life fucked me for many years, and now, I was no longer fit to rule.
They’d figure it out soon enough.
Reaching out to take my hand, Deloria squeezed it tightly. "Both girls are on their way," she said in her low, lilting voice. "They'll meet you in the center of the lands, since the jewels don't tend to allow too much crossover between our people…"
"Thank you," I said in a rush. "And … sorry."
A glimpse of their fallen faces was enough to have me running from the room. My damage was seeping into them, like an insidious weed that sprinkled its seed everywhere I turned. I should never have come back here, but I would see it through now. I couldn’t disappoint my parents by bailing so quickly, and it was best they understood the truth of me before they planned a coronation, or whatever it was called here.
If they cared about their people at all, they’d better start thinking up a plan B.
I had no trouble remembering my way back to the main entrance, and then on to the common area between the four worlds was a fairly straight path. My parents’ place wasn’t too far from the edge of ruby city.
As I ran, getting closer and closer, the joy at seeing my friends grew inside of me. It had been too long, and I still considered my time with them in the sanctuary as some of the best of my life. Like I had a family.
We all screamed like dumbass chicks when we saw each other.
"I missed you," I yelled, running into their open arms.
"We missed you so much," Cam cried, hugging me with all