overdrive."
"I read that it could even be worse before the bond fully forms?"
I was behind on this world, but I'd done as much research as I could to catch up.
Jacob nodded. "Yes, especially for shifters. Our animalistic instinct goes haywire and it's harder to soothe our beasts. I'm pretty new at bonding with him anyway, so this double shot is really fucking with my control.”
Right. Right. Here we went again, talking ourselves out of his bond.
We had issues. Guess it was my turn now.
"I'm still only half existing in this world,” I started, “and I'm not sure I could handle everything that comes with a partner for life. Reading about chosen mate bonds was scary enough, but true mate bonds. It’s a lot."
Jacob's chest rumbled. "You think you'll get sick of me after a few years and want to date other people?"
Fuck. Did I answer this truthfully or not?
"Supes live ... what … almost a thousand years? Most humans can't even make fifty work in marriage. It just seems like a big commitment. What if we form the bond and then in twenty years you start banging your secretary?"
Exasperation and amusement, who knew those two emotions would form the current expression I was staring at.
"We’re not humans," he reminded me. "Our bond will only grow stronger with time … the need we have for each other becoming something tangible … so solid it will have its own energy."
"Guess I still think like a human," I said softly, not sure I could even imagine that sort of bond. “And maybe that in itself is the problem.”
He tilted his head, curious, and I was glad that he wasn’t hearing all my thoughts yet.
“I think I need to return home and embrace my fey side. Until I do that, I can’t be an equal partner to you."
I’d been thinking about it a lot. It was time to let go of my anger at the fact that I’d been “thrown away” by people who should love me. Sure, they’d done it to save my life, so I couldn’t really be mad at them, and yet I was. But it was time to stop.
Jacob wanted to protest, flames leaping into his eyes. And honestly, part of me hoped he'd fight me on this, stop me from going back.
I gave him the opening: "Unless you need me here for this negotiation with the president?"
Please say yes. Despite my misgivings, the thought of not seeing Jacob every day after a month of being with him…
Shit, would I even want to wake up in the morning without his heavy-handed banging on my door? How dependent was I already?
And just like that, I hoped he told me to go.
"It might be for the best," he said.
What? That bastard was trying to get rid of me? How dare he?
Someone needs a mental health check.
Fuck you, inner voice. Fuck. You.
"Yep. You're right," I said brusquely. "I'm going to head back right now. Can you say goodbye to everyone for me?"
Jacob's eyes widened just a little, and I shoved past him to get out of the small alcove of trees. "Send me a message through Grace when this shit is sorted here," I told him, already regretting every vulnerable moment I'd shared with him.
This shit was stupid. I couldn't handle dealing with emotions like this.
Escaping was for the best.
One day I’d stop running, but apparently today was not that day.
13
Jacob Compass
I would never punch a tree. Trees did not deserve my anger and ire, my lack of control. But the raging fury that was bubbling inside of me had to go somewhere, and there was no time to get out of the forest to shift. The change was too close.
That left me one option.
My brothers.
I called them through the bond, not to beat the shit out of them—though each had deserved it at one point or another—but to hopefully share this fury between us.
It was this or someone was going to get hurt.
Braxton appeared first.
Actually, Jessa was first, and despite the roar of her mate, she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms and legs around me to anchor me to the ground, like that would stop me from flying away.
My bond with Braxton kicked to life. I felt him in my head and my energy.
Hurt her and I will fucking kill you, he warned me.
I didn't need the warning, I loved Jessa almost as much as he did—no one could love as much as a true mate, it was literally in