that she’d written to me about in her letter reflected back at me. But it was more than just the love and devotion she’d told me she had, now there was also heartache and sadness mixed in.
“Haven’t you missed me?” she asked quietly as she took a step toward me.
“Yes.” I couldn’t deny it and I wasn’t going to lie to her.
We stood silently staring at one another. The energy between us was alive, crackling with tension. I could feel that she had so much more she wanted to say, but she was waiting for me to say something. Waiting for me to make a move. But I couldn’t.
My heart was beating so hard and fast that it was all I could hear in my head.
She licked her lips and swallowed as her hazel eyes lifted to mine. “I really want you to kiss me right now.”
Her confession was both innocent and seductive. And the temptation to give in to her desire was nearly impossible to resist. But I kept telling myself that if I crossed that line with her, I’d never be able to go back. And I wasn’t any better than that assclown in the suit, or the guy in the tuxedo shirt. Not only was my body broken down, I’d been a selfish prick for years.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“If this is because of Bentley, then that’s bullshit, because he’s marrying my best friend.”
I couldn’t help but smile seeing her getting all worked up. “It’s not because of Bentley.”
“Is it because you’re not attracted to me?” I could see the vulnerability in her eyes, and it shattered my heart.
“No.” That was definitely not the problem.
“Then what is it? Why can’t you kiss me?”
“Because…” I didn’t know how to explain it to her so she’d understand. I knew that if I tried, she’d just argue with me. So instead of trying to make her see what I felt, I went with a truth. “You’re way too perfect in an infinite amount of ways.”
She stared up at me and for a brief moment, opened her mouth, then closed it again. I’d achieved the impossible. I’d rendered Olivia Calhoun speechless. I figured I’d better stop while I was ahead, I turned and walked out the door.
Chapter 16
Olivia
“You don’t find a happy life, you make one.”
~ Maggie Calhoun
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there staring at the empty space that Holden had taken up just moments before. My mind must have short-circuited because I couldn’t process what had just happened.
Over the years, in all the times that I’d played out scenarios when Holden and I would finally talk about my feelings for him, none had ever ended like that.
Holden’s parting remark was playing on a loop in my head.
You’re way too perfect in an infinite amount of ways.
“What does that mean?” I asked out loud. I wasn’t sure if I was asking myself, Holden (who was gone), or Channing.
“Arf-arf,” Channing responded.
“He can’t just say something like that and then leave. He did the same thing at yoga. He called me magic and walked out.”
Channing’s only response this time was to plop down on the floor with a big sigh. He was obviously not as outraged as I was about Holden’s behavior.
Frustration was building in me with the speed and velocity of a snowball in an avalanche. But since I couldn’t do anything about that, I figured I might as well address my actual avalanche. I turned and finished shoving the contents of my hall closet back in place. Some people had junk drawers, I had a junk closet.
I’d been upset after my dance with Holden. Then I’d spent a good twenty minutes dealing with Matthew’s ego and cluelessness as he tried to make a case for why we should sleep together. Which served to top off an already frustrating night.
By the time I got home, I was slam-the-door mad. Literally, I’d slammed the front door so hard it had knocked two picture frames off the wall.
So, after I returned a call from Molly, who had texted me during my date after someone from the bar told her that Matthew had a wandering eye, I changed into my pajamas, took off my make-up and decided to hang the frames back up.
When I’d gone into my closet to retrieve my toolbox, which of course was behind a suitcase and under dozens of costumes from my ballroom, jazz, and tap performances, the bar that held them came crashing onto the floor, along with