had to. For now.
“What do you mean?” Patrick asked, shock dripping from his voice.
“Well I might just be losing my fucking mind but I hear Keely talking to someone sometimes. In her room. She spends hours in the basement, keeping the door locked. I’ve almost broken my hand from banging on the door so hard when she wakes up screaming from her nightmares.”
My stomach clenched. As much as the nightmares tried to destroy me, I couldn’t let Troy into that room. It belonged to me and Parker. Call it unfair, but I didn’t think Troy would understand anyways if he saw what lay behind those closed doors. The BDSM lifestyle that I shared with Parker was private. Although my submission to him was always made known. I just never realized it at first.
“Maybe she’s talking to Liz or Aidan or…”
Troy laughed nervously. “The sounds that come from the room clearly mean she’s not talking to those two.”
My cheeks heated.
“Do you think she’s moved on?”
Refusing to listen anymore, I grabbed the box off the table. I left the dining room and stepped out onto the patio, the cool breeze whipping through my shoulder-length blond hair. Although it was early in the summer, I welcomed the chill in the air.
Sitting on the patio couch, I took a deep breath, my gaze dancing around the backyard of Parker’s cottage. My home. If only I could live with him. Be with him. Talking on the phone every couple of weeks didn’t do us any good and clearly it was going to get us caught by Troy.
They thought I moved on. After being with Devin for so long, I never once thought that I would find someone new. But Parker wasn’t just anyone. He was my love. My heart. My Dom and eventually my Master. A flutter ran through my belly at the idea of him controlling me completely, even just for a couple of minutes at a time.
My gaze fell back on the box that sat on top of the patio table. “Alright, Keely. Let’s do this.”
My fingers grazed the dark wood before pulling the deep burgundy ribbon off of the lid. My stomach twisted with anxiety that was never ending lately as I took another cleansing breath. In and out. In. And. Out. Inhale. Exhale. “I got this.” Those words didn’t register any ounce of strength, unfortunately. My hands shook; a cold sweat crept along my skin like cool clammy fingers of death.
The darkness that had settled on my soul was enough to bring anyone down. Getting a package from my ex-husband was even worse.
I recalled a time when I was happy. Truly and utterly happy. Playing in the backyard of my childhood home, I remembered the scents and sounds that had surrounded me. The musky smell of the pine trees, the cool fresh air, the pollen of the daisies that I liked to sniff constantly. So much so that I would always end up in a sneezing fit.
“Baby, you’re allergic to those flowers. Stop sticking your nose in them,” my mom had told me.
“But mama, they smell so good,” I would whine.
I could almost hear my mother’s full belly laugh as if she were only a few feet away from me. My chest tightened, a slight twinge of pain soaring through me. “Oh, mama,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes.
I missed my parents. So damn much. If only I had gone to them sooner. If only I had never met Devin. If only…I let out a huff. But I couldn’t live life on if only’s.
Letting out a slow exhale, I braced myself and lifted the lid off of the box. A laugh escaped my lips at the sight before me. Black, long-stemmed roses stared up at me with a red substance dripping from the petals. Was it paint? Blood? I had no fucking idea but leave it to Devin to be all morbid and disgusting. I didn’t care anymore. Not at all. And when I didn’t care? That was when he should be worried.
Picking up my phone, I dialed a number I had memorized since the first time he gave me his card. Since the first time he had forced his way into my life much like Parker had.
“Cross,” came the deep reply.
“I received something that you might be interested in,” I ground out. I was not in the mood to talk to him but I needed him to leave me alone.
“Keely?”
“I’ll stop by in an hour.”
“I can come to you.”
“No.”