clearly livid about something. He kept catching her glowers, the way her mouth was pulled into a thin line. It was the look she had when something had gone entirely not her way, but he couldn’t imagine what it was.
Julian had done everything asked of him. He brought his boyfriend, but they kept their heads down. Yes, Will had threatened Bryce at the intracoastal cove, but no one had been around to see. There were no scenes, no spectacles. For all anyone knew, Julian was properly cowed by his ex trading up.
“Your dad’s totally invited on the walk,” Will said when he realized why Julian was hesitating.
Fredric caught it and he laughed. “Oh, no. No, I think I’ve had enough of mushy young love. You two can feel free to… entertain yourselves.”
“You do not need to be so crass,” Jacqueline hissed at him, and Fredric turned his face away from her which sent Julian’s heart thumping with pride.
“I actually wouldn’t mind some air,” Julian said.
He pressed his hands into the table and pushed to stand, and Will was quick at his elbow. Their drinks were left abandoned on the table, but Julian didn’t need the burn of alcohol to send his head into a spin. With Will this close, enough that he could feel his warm puff of breath as they hurried along the corridor to the back terrace doors, he felt like he was floating.
Will took his hand once they were outside, and Julian felt himself make a soft noise in the back of his throat. It startled him still, when this man took these steps once they were alone. That wasn’t what he was there for—wasn’t what he was being paid for. And yet, it felt genuine.
The pair of them stopped at the cement railing, and Julian rested his forearms down, staring at the pool. The infinity edge made it look like the water dropped sharply toward the rocky beach below, and the faint steam coming off the top told him that it was warm.
“Do you like swimming?” Will asked, standing just a fraction too close.
Julian shook his head. “Not really. As a kid, I hated it because I couldn’t wear my hearing aids and it made it impossible to follow whatever game everyone was playing.”
Will let out a small puff of air that brushed over Julian’s cheek, and he ran the tips of his fingers over Julian’s knuckles. “Did you…do you use sign language?”
Julian shrugged. “Sometimes. Mostly with Ilan. He and I decided to take it as our language in college but my mother…” Julian bit his lip and hated that everything in his young life that had deprived him—whether it was love or language or companionship—started with her. “She didn’t like the way it made people stare.” He drummed his fingers on the cold stone beneath him, biting his lip as he fought back old, atrophied memories of struggling to hear—to communicate, to be understood, and all for the sake of her idea of propriety. “My dad supported me, but after his stroke, he struggled to keep up, and it was easier for me to accommodate him.”
Will let out a short breath and dragged the tips of his fingers from Julian’s knuckles to his elbow, then back down. “Can we talk about…about earlier?”
Julian bowed his head. “Right. I…” Licking his lips, he gathered what little courage remained inside him, then he looked up and reached out, curling his fingers around the back of Will’s neck. “I know this wasn’t the agreement.”
“It wasn’t,” Will told him, his voice low as he stepped a little closer.
Julian felt his entire body jolt when their hips brushed. “This is new for me. I didn’t…I don’t know how to navigate through what I want. I’m a little bit of a mess, being here.”
“I understand.”
Julian dragged his fingers up through the back of Will’s hair and felt a very faint vibration which probably came from a groan too soft for him to really hear it over the far-off sounds of the waves. “But I want you. And I think…unless I was reading it wrong before…”
Will’s groan was louder this time, and he reached a hand up to cup Julian’s cheek. “You weren’t. I just…I wanted to talk to you first.”
“And I want you to kiss me first,” Julian said, diving in with both feet. “Please.”
Will’s eyes squeezed shut, his face cracking like he was in pain, but before Julian could panic and rear back, Will surged in. Their lips met—too hard at