don’t hang here much. Which makes my slow mind catch up. “Where is everyone?”
“Because the boys thought it would be smart to prank me with putting crickets in my bathtub, they’re mucking out the stalls while Jin took the girls horseback riding. We wanted to make sure you got some rest.”
My cheeks burn that the entire family would rearrange their schedule to let me sleep.
“How was school?” she asks.
“Okay. I think I found someone to work on my senior project with me.”
“Who?” Jesse asks.
“Sawyer Sutherland.”
Except for Ziva’s baby babble, Greer’s scissors clipping away at the dead ends of Nazareth’s longer hair on the top of his head and my scooping a spoon into my soup, there’s silence. I look up to catch Nazareth and Jesse staring at each other in that pensive way of theirs that means they don’t agree with my decisions.
“I don’t remember asking your opinion,” I say to them.
“What am I missing?” Greer asks.
“Sawyer Sutherland…” Jesse starts but then flicks a glance at me. “He’s one of those rich, popular guys at school.”
“Uh-huh.” Greer flips Nazareth’s longer hair from one side to another. She stares at it as if in contemplation, then obviously satisfied with the results, she pats Nazareth’s shoulder to let him know she’s done. “Why is this a problem for the two of you?”
Greer has a stern stare for Nazareth as he stands. His only response is a shrug as he rolls his strong shoulders back. The body language is clear—there is a decent reason, but he’s not telling. She then throws the same expression in Jesse’s direction, and he yanks his baseball cap on as if to hide.
“Sawyer and his crew talk crap about me,” I say to save my friends from the third degree.
“This boy talks bad about you, yet you want to work with him and he’s agreed to work with you?” Greer asks.
“It’s complicated.”
“Can you handle him if he gets out of line?”
“Are you asking if I can kick him in the balls?”
Greer grins. “Yes, and can you handle it if he continues to talk badly about you?”
I’ve been handling people talking trash about me since moving here. It hurts, but I can deal with it so I nod.
“Then you boys need to trust her judgment.” Greer grabs three open notebooks and pens. She tosses one in front of me, one to Jesse and the other to the spot next to me and gestures for Nazareth to sit. “The three of you—you’re seventeen and you act as if you’re forty. This is your last year before the world forces you to be adults, and I want you to write down all your hopes and dreams for the year. Then we’re going to head out to the bonfire, talk about them and then place them in the fire to be freed into the universe so it can help.”
Nazareth’s head drops as we all walk into his family’s weekly feelings bonfire. He hates it, but I think it’s fun. Jesse starts to stand. “Scarlett is going to be calling soon, and I need to get some work done on the farm before she calls so I’ll—”
“Sit, Jesse,” Greer demands, and he sits.
“I’m eighteen already, and I graduated. I’m adulting. Daily.”
“True, but you’re still doing this.”
I smile, Jesse scowls and Nazareth places the baby rabbit in a box cushioned with towels then pulls a T-shirt over his head before taking a seat at the picnic table. Jesse will write something about his farm and spending time with his girlfriend, Scarlett. Nazareth will either write down the preamble to the Constitution or write out a bunch of the numbers to pi, but I embrace the moment for what it is.
Dad’s correct—my migraines are getting worse and there’s a sinking in my stomach that the next MRI will mean a fight between me and him. If I only have a few more months of living, I need to live it right.
I write the number one on my paper and make a list of everything I need to do as soon as I possibly can.
SAWYER
The required health class I took my freshman year talked about this meeting when we went over the unit on addictions, and I’m here on a Hail Mary pass. Or I’m here because I’ve officially lost my mind. Both. I’m here for both reasons.
With my arms crossed and my legs stretched out, I’m slumped in the seat that’s the farthest from the podium of an AA meeting in a town thirty minutes