even remember how to ask a girl out. I haven’t had to do it since high school.”
“It hasn’t changed,” Moretti assured him.
“How many times do I have to say it—I’m good,” Cole insisted, holding up his palms. “I don’t want to date anybody. I live with my mother. I’m raising a daughter. I’ve got enough women to deal with.”
Moretti looked at me. “What about you? What’s your excuse?”
I shrugged. “I’m smarter than the rest of you assholes.”
Moretti shook his head. “Jesus. You guys really are a couple of old men. You’re gonna end up like those two crotchety dudes on the Muppets, Statler and Waldorf, sitting alone up in the bleachers, watching Bulldogs games and complaining about everything.”
Cole laughed. “And where are you gonna be?”
“Oh, my wife and kids will have driven me into an early grave by then.”
I cocked a brow. “I didn’t realize you had a wife and kids.”
“I don’t. Not yet, anyway. But it’s inevitable. In my family, you have a wife—preferably Italian, definitely Catholic—and a bunch of kids. They’re expensive, loud, and they drive you crazy, but then you get to spend the rest of your life making them feel guilty about shit.” He shrugged and picked up his beer. “That’s how it goes. It’s the Moretti circle of life.”
I laughed. “And where are you going to find this wife? You know every single Italian girl in this town, and half of them are related to you.”
“I’m not worried,” Moretti said, lifting his bottle toward the sky. “I figure as long as I have faith, she’ll show up when I least expect it.”
Right then, we heard a huge boom next to us on the street. Since sudden loud noises trigger a hyper-alert response in me—a remnant of my three deployments in Afghanistan—I jumped to my feet and assessed the situation, my adrenaline pumping. But it was immediately apparent that the source of the explosion was a blown tire.
Cole and Moretti stood too, and we watched as a red vintage MG wobbled precariously before jumping a concrete chock block and coming to rest on the sidewalk in front of the Bellamy Creek Credit Union, which told me that the driver did exactly the thing you’re not supposed to do after blowing a tire—panic and slam on the brakes. Luckily, no one was parked in front of the credit union at this hour, and the sidewalk was empty as well. Still, the driver had to be pretty shaken up, if not injured.
Without exchanging a word, the three of us took off toward the car. As soon as we got close, we could see it had been the MG’s rear passenger-side tire that had blown. The driver opened the door and got out of the little car, which took some effort since she appeared to be wearing . . . a big, white wedding gown.
“Holy shit.” Moretti put both hands on his head. “I was kidding.”
We stared as the woman approached us, taking in all the details. The long strapless dress. The tiara perched on top of her dark blond hair. The white gloves covering her arms to the elbow. The shocked expression. She looked like a very confused Disney princess, as if she’d been well on her way to the Magic Kingdom and had no idea how she’d wound up here instead.
But she was undeniably beautiful, with wide-set green eyes and a full lower lip, and even though something about her spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E, my gut instinct was protective.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She blinked at me. “Is this heaven?”
“It’s Bellamy Creek,” said Cole. “Ma’am, do you need help?”
“I . . .” she started. Then her eyes fluttered shut, her knees buckled, and her body began to collapse into the massive cloud of white.
I moved fast, catching her as she fell.
Two
Blair
Admittedly, I am not a very good driver.
I have a terrible sense of direction, I know nothing about cars, and I have an unfortunate tendency to hit things like curbs, other people’s bumpers, and random stationary objects like telephone poles or fire hydrants. Once I accidentally collided with a lovely old magnolia tree, but I sincerely believe that was not my fault, since I’d pulled into the wrong driveway and the tree appeared without warning where no tree had ever appeared before.
But I could have sworn there was nothing on the road in front of me, when BOOM! It was like something exploded beneath my car.
I freaked out and slammed on the brakes, which suddenly ceased to function as brakes