foam was a computer. Silver. A Sony VAIO.
I had expected it to have a radioactive glow like the Holy Grail did in one of those Indiana Jones movies, or its contents lighting up the room like that briefcase did in the movie Paycheck. It didn’t glow. Doubt if it was the latest VAIO Sony had to offer.
Arizona powered it up. I didn’t think it would come on. It did. I expected to need a password. I didn’t. The screensaver was a picture of Freeman and Sade. Both had I-love-you smiles. Had to be a couple of years old. No ring was on her finger. She looked happy.
I noticed that the briefcase looked thicker than the compartment.
“Looks like Freeman’s briefcase has a false bottom.”
Arizona smiled, shut off the computer, and closed the briefcase. She didn’t check to see what was hidden underneath Freeman’s million-dollar book.
I nodded.
She did the same.
“One more thing.”
“Sure.”
I handed her a business card. Told her to turn it over. A name and an address were on the other side, written in black ink, my own handwriting, block style so it would be readable.
I told her, “If for any reason I’m not around, that’s who I want you to give my cut to.”
“If you’re not around?”
I nodded.
She said, “You trust me?”
“Don’t think I have a choice.”
“I know they busted your head. Things that bad?”
My head wound didn’t hurt anymore. I asked, “Can you do that?”
She read the card. “Rufus—”
“My brother. Anything happens to me, wanna make sure ... can you do that?”
I’d already left Rufus a message, told him to kick some cash down to Panther, left her number. Told him to remember and honor what we had said about not wasting money on funerals. And I told him to remember the rules of the streets; no police.
A big red clock was over my head, ticking down.
Momma. Reverend Daddy. Thought about both of them.
Hoped Rufus and Pasquale ... hoped they worked that shit out some kinda way. I didn’t have time to call. Should’ve gotten over my own issues and called my brother. Hated that I acted like Reverend Daddy with him all the damn time. But that was all I knew, all I understood.
Arizona smiled, this one not that of a grifter. Her walls came down and everything about her became softer. She looked like a lost little girl who was trying too hard to be a conniving woman. Her smile was real. Held sincerity and worry. In that moment I saw some innocence, corners of who she used to be before life tripped her up and she landed on this side of the fence.
Then it was gone. That tenderness lasted as long as a candle’s flame in a hurricane.
She said, “Sure.”
She reached over, patted my hand, touched my flesh like she wanted to feel its warmth.
Feel the warmth before it went cold. Touch this skin before it changed back to dirt.
Rufus wouldn’t be involved, would be out of harm’s way. Panther wouldn’t be involved. Nobody I cared about would be caught up in this game, not any more than they already were.
That was that.
I told her, “They’re out there looking for me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“It’ll never end. I have to do what I have to do.”
“Be careful.”
“Just live up to your end of the bargain.”
She said something in Spanish and the valet nodded, ran off, came back with my ride.
Arizona reached inside her purse and took out her blade. She made it dance open, then made it dance back into its shelter, then offered it to me.
I thought about it, but shook my head, a thankful smile on my weary face.
Think I understood how Lancaster felt in that movie. Tired. Just plain old tired.
She told me, “He’s dead. The man who taught me all I know, he’s dead.”
“I kinda figured that.”
“I know you’re a big and strong man, but be careful.”
She put her blade back in her purse, headed back inside the theater. She didn’t look back this time. Think it was too hard for her to. Death had been a part of her world, probably had been the trauma that made her who she was right now. She vanished into the theater. I heard a huge applause. The stage show was ending, curtain was coming down, the pretending was over.
I got in my car and started driving, out of habit my tired eyes went to the rearview.
Cold air came in through the broken rear window.
Felt strange not having my glasses on.
Felt stranger not having