is to keep watch over you. That’s it. There was nothing in our instructions that specified friendship as a requirement.”
There was no missing how my words offended her. From the exasperated look on her face, to the way she reared her head back, clearly preparing to give me a piece of her mind. In fact, the onslaught was so imminent, I braced myself for it.
“You are such a freakin’ dick!” she accused. “I’ve never met someone so messed up in the head that they can’t even pretend to be normal. I mean, believe me, dude, we’ve all got issues, but it shouldn’t be this hard to just be—”
“Naïve? Blind? Like my brothers, you mean?”
She breathed deeply, unable to hide how her frustration grew.
“Joel was wrong,” I assured her. “So, before you start getting the wrong idea, before you start thinking you belong here, belong with us … let it go.”
“I never said—”
“You didn’t have to,” I cut her off. “Why else would you be doing this, pretending you give a crap about what I think of you? Pretending to care whether the air between us is clear?”
She shook her head, seeming to find my response hard to believe, but I wasn’t falling for the act.
“You are such a bastard,” she concluded, standing to finally put some distance between us.
She’d taken a few steps before halting.
“For the record, I don’t believe I’m supposed to be anything to you,” she declared. “Because you don’t deserve someone like me.”
Then, to prove what a child she was, she doubled back to kick over my drink, leaving me to stare as it seeped into the grass.
“Nice,” I scoffed.
After this conversation, I was fully confident that the ideas planted in her head were no longer a factor. If that look she gave before walking away meant anything, I was positive that whatever hope she held out for one day being one of us was dead.
It had to be done.
So why the heck couldn’t I just leave well enough alone?
At first, I was perfectly content to let her walk away. I mean, after all, I’d intentionally said those things to make her go. But then, something inside me stirred, not letting me rest until I called out to her.
“Noelle, just … wait.”
The angry footsteps behind me quieted abruptly, and I could hardly believe it. With the fury I saw in her eyes, there was no way she should have responded to that, but she did.
Still unsure why I even cared enough to stop her, no words left my mouth. I turned to face her, finding more than rage in her expression.
Hurt and sadness were present, too. And I’d been the one responsible for both being there.
“I didn’t … I didn’t mean to say those things. I just—”
Nothing else would come out, so my gaze lowered, to her bare feet where they stayed planted on the ground. Another strange pull at the center of my chest drew more words from my mouth, again, not by my own will.
“I’m sorry.”
Her expression softened a little, and her arms dropped from where she had them locked across her chest. The sadness still hadn’t left, but at least her walls seemed to be coming down.
This was all so strange to me, that I was now actively undoing the work I put in to push her away. It didn’t make sense, but somehow, it felt right.
“I understand if you’re pissed at me,” I admitted, “but you don’t have to leave.”
With that, I turned toward the water again, observing my nieces and nephews as they played, splashing and laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world.
Sometimes, it was hard to recall when I, myself, was that carefree, but that time did exist. It just seemed like, lately, there was so much darkness, so much pain. It was everywhere I looked.
Soft footsteps came closer, and I hated that knowing she returned brought a sense of relief. I wasn’t supposed to care that I hurt her feelings, but there wasn’t any sense denying the truth.
She dropped down onto the grass a bit less gracefully this time, still carrying some of the frustration from our argument.
“Thanks,” I forced out.
“For?” She sighed.
“For coming back. For … not holding a grudge.”
She peered at me from the corner of her eye. “That still has yet to be determined.”
The sassy way she said it pulled a laugh from me. “Fair enough.”
One corner of her mouth curved up with a smile, and with it, my chest tightened.
God, she was beautiful.
“So,