of work, I stop in to see my little sister again. Finn and Esme are prepping their apartment for a St. Patrick’s Day party. Their home has become the hub where all our friends congregate if we’re not going to the Blue Cat Bar.
It’s been about six weeks since I was in New Haven, and the ache in my chest hasn’t dulled. Whenever I get the urge to call Serena, I just think about what Angelo told me, and how it contradicts with what Serena had said.
She does want kids, a family, a husband.
Just not with me.
There’s a dark cloud over me, and everyone sees it. Esme smiles at me, wrapping her arms around my body. “Hey, Kit.”
“Hey.”
She looks at my rumpled uniform, arching an eyebrow. “Came straight from the airport?”
I nod. How can I tell her that being at my house reminds me of Serena? I hate being there alone, especially at night.
But Esme seems to understand, even if I say nothing. She jerks her head to a box of green decorations. “Help me put these up. The party’s tomorrow, but I want to have them ready so that I can relax tomorrow morning.”
I glance at the massive box of green hats, cups, garlands, wall decorations, and arch an eyebrow. “You sure you got enough?”
Esme sighs, sticking a leprechaun to the wall. “I know. I wanted to get more, but Finn convinced me not to.”
I grin. “I was kidding, Es.”
“I wasn’t.” She levels me with a stare, then cracks a smile. “I want it to look like St. Patrick vommed all over this place. I even bought green beer.”
Chuckling, I help her with one of the larger decorations. After an hour or so, I’ve gathered enough courage to head home. As I grab the doorknob, I feel Esme’s fingers on my arm. She tilts her head, staring up at my eyes.
“I know how it feels, Kit.”
“How what feels?”
“Heartbreak. It’s how I felt when Finn and I were apart.”
I didn’t know it was possible for me to feel like more of a jerk, but Esme succeeds with that sentence. How could I possibly have been mad at the two of them? How could I have been so blind to the love they share?
But instead of feeling happy for my sister and my best friend, I just feel sorry for myself. I give her a tight smile, ruffling her head until she yelps and jerks away, then give her a wave and walk out. It’s only a short drive to my house, but I take a circuitous route through town to delay the inevitable cold, lonely home that awaits.
When I finally get home, the lights are on. I frown. I have timers on the lights while I’m away, but this is far too early. Has daylight savings happened without me noticing?
When I walk inside, though, I smell incense. My heart thumps so hard I can hardly hear anything else. I drop my bag by the door, shedding my jacket and tossing it on a hook. Movement catches my eye, and my whole body feels like it’s disintegrating.
Serena.
She’s here, in all her glory. Curly, black hair. Full lips. Olive skin that looks like it’s been kissed by the sun even after a long, dark winter. Cropped band T-shirt and little purple bellybutton piercing. She dangles a key over her index finger, giving me a hesitant smile.
“I still had this from before. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I, uh…” Do I mind? No, of course not. But why…why is she here?
Serena bites her lower lip, and my whole body feels like it’s letting out a groan. Did I think I was over her after just six weeks? Because I’m not. Even just standing there, doing nothing but sucking her lip between her teeth, she has me wrapped around her little finger.
Her eyes flick to mine, brows drawing together. “I’m so sorry, Kit.”
“For what?”
That makes her laugh. She shakes her head. “For everything. For pushing you away. For basically breaking into your house while you were at work and waiting here like a freaking creep. For not telling you about my miscarriage. For thinking that life would be okay without you in it.”
My heart skips a beat as her words sink in. There’s too much space between us. I kick off my shoes, taking a hesitant step across the cold tile floor. She wrings her hands in front of her stomach, playing with the spare key I gave her months ago.
When Serena’s eyes flick up