from my overbearing family, away from my past, I realize how much I’ve been holding myself back. I’ve had a leash around my neck and I’ve been afraid to stray too far from the accepted path.
But looking around the florist shop—seeing how the rest of the group carries themselves—it makes me reconsider. A fresh start doesn’t need to be me, alone. Finding myself doesn’t need to happen without any help.
I’m running away from my problems, trying to turn away from all men, but that could be the wrong approach. Maybe the best way for me to heal is to find someone who treats me right. Someone who understands me and respects me. Someone who shows me that I’m worth more than I thought.
Someone like Kit.
A deep, pulsing thrill courses through me. It seems so obvious when I think about it now.
I don’t need to turn away from men to find myself, I just need to find the right man. Running away from relationships on my quest to find myself is holding me back.
What I need to do is start trusting my instincts again. Believing that I’m worthy of love. Trusting that if I open myself up to love, fate won’t laugh in my face.
Hopefully Kit won’t, either.
As I stand there, surrounded by flowers and new friends, as the weather whips around the building and I stay warm and safe inside, my resolve strengthens.
Next time I see Kit, I don’t want to just be his friend. I want to be honest.
And I want him.
17
Kit
Four days never seemed so long. After flying the skydiving plane, coming back to commercial flying bores me to death. When I sit next to Robbie, my thoughts drift to Serena, and Esme, and Finn.
Mostly Serena.
Robbie can tell something’s wrong. When we part ways on the fourth day, he tilts his head and stares at me.
“Something’s different with you.”
I shake my head. “I’m fine. Just a bit distracted.”
He nods, then extends his hand for me to shake. My chest clenches, and I feel like a terrible friend for having impure thoughts about his sister.
Then again, he said he wouldn’t mind someone dating her if it was the right guy. What if that guy were me?
“You going to fly the skydiving plane on your days off?” Robbie tilts his head, and I know what he’s asking. He’s asking if I’ll quit this job. If my heart is in it anymore—or if it ever was. He’s asking if this is the beginning of the end.
And the truth?
I have no idea.
I shake my head. “It’s winter. I doubt they have much going on.”
Robbie nods, still searching my face. “Say hi to my sister for me.”
“Will do.” Guilt worms its way through my chest as a ball of pressure builds right underneath my heart.
Robbie doesn’t seem to notice. He claps me on the shoulder and gives me a smile. “She likes you, you know.”
“Who?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
His eyes are sharp, staring into mine like he’s trying to tell me something. My heart thumps, and the words are on my lips.
I like her too.
But I swallow them back down and bid him goodbye before heading to my car. I drum my hands on the steering wheel as I drive from Seattle to Woodvale. Excitement sparks deep in my marrow at the thought of coming home to Serena. I wonder if these days apart have had an effect on her, too. If she feels this way about me. If she’d want to take the leap and see what happens.
But when I get home, the house is dark. Disappointment crashes into me like a wave, dragging me down and making my shoulders round. I drop my bag by the door and call out into the house, with nothing but the creak of the timber and silence answering back.
She’s not here.
I rub my temples with my fingers, feeling stupid. Foolish. I rushed back here, thinking she’d be waiting for me with open arms. I imagined we’d be able to wrap our arms around each other and fall into bed. I thought I’d be able to confess my budding feelings for her and have her say them right back to me. My very own fairy tale, right here in Woodvale.
She’s not even home, let alone sitting here waiting for me.
Sighing, I bring my bag to my room and jump in the shower. I let the water wash away four days of work and a lifetime of repressed feelings. I let it wash away my guilt with Robbie and my