college admissions books. It’s well known among the Devils that this is her happy place.
“Everything okay?” I sit on the couch next to her and she shrugs.
“I’m fine.”
I give her a skeptical look. “You don’t seem fine.”
She shakes her head, face falling. “You wouldn’t get it.”
“Hey.” I nudge her shoulder with mine. “Try me.”
She sighs, tossing a book aside. “I’m a still a virgin.”
I frown. “So?” I’m not really surprised. This girl is married to getting into an Ivy. “That’s not a big deal.”
She props her elbow on the arm of the couch, resting her temple on her fist. “I just feel dumb, especially around you and V. She and Reyn are probably going at it like bunnies, and you…”
“I what?” I ask, kind of curious.
She gives me a shy look. “Well, you know…”
I turn to her, folding a leg beneath me. “Tell me.”
“There are a lot of rumors about you, Georgia.” She looks away, eyes cast down. “And, well…you don’t really keep your casual hookups a secret. You’re, like, super experienced.”
There’s something in the way she says that—‘super experienced’—that cuts me pretty deep. It’s the inflection. It’s the emphasis.
She’s calling me a whore.
What is it Heston loves calling me? Little Red Riding Cocks. I know people talk about me like this—they always have—but it hurts when Caroline’s the one doing the talking.
She rolls her eyes. “Like, who gets to be a Senior without ever hooking up with someone they like? Or even someone they don’t like?”
“A lot of people.” At least, I think that’s true. Something comes to me and I perk, poking her. “You got marked for the ritual, right?” It was part of the initiation into the Devils. Each of us had to climb the Stairway to Hell and mark another Devil. For me and Sebastian, that meant some very advantageous oral. God only knows what the others did, but either way, it was clearly sexual for most of us.
This doesn’t seem to mollify her. If anything, she just looks even more miserable. “We just gave each other hickies, even though…” She looks at me out of the corner of her eyes, voice dropped to a low, soft octave. “Carlton really wanted me to go down on him.”
“He did?” At her nod, I cautiously ask, “He didn’t, like, pressure you or make you feel bad about—”
She flaps a hand. “No, nothing like that.”
“Oh, thank god.” I deflate, so relieved that I have to press a palm to my chest. “Because I’d hate to kill him, but I would.” We share a laugh, but her smile melts away almost instantly.
“I kind of regret turning him down,” she confesses, biting her lip. “He offered to do it to me, too, you know? He was so soft and sweet, and plus, he’s cute. He’s nice.”
I stare at her. “Carlton is a drug dealer, Caroline.”
Her eyelashes flutter behind her glasses. “Well, yeah, but he’s a cute drug dealer.”
Shaking my head, I add, “He’s not for you. You deserve someone amazing. Someone who isn’t always a couple wrong moves away from becoming a felon. Someone who isn’t a total space cadet.”
“But it would have been some experience,” she insists, looking frustrated. “Why does everyone else get to play the field, but I need some amazing, long-term, steady boyfriend?”
I remind her, “A lot of girls aren’t into dating around. Look at Vandy and Sugar. Even Afton, who was easily the most popular girl in school, was totally hung up on that older guy. You have plenty of time to figure it all out. There’s no rush.”
Her bottom lip suddenly trembles. “But what if I want to rush into something for once, Georgia? What if, for once, I want to just go with the flow and not over-think every single thing?” She shoves two fingers beneath her glasses, wiping her watery eyes. “You hook up with a lot of different guys, right? It’s not a big deal for you. You just do it, right? I don’t know why it feels like a big deal for me.”
I purse my lips. “I’m not really sure I should be your role model here.”
“Why?” She gestures to me, hand sweeping out. “You’re totally sex positive! You own your needs and just go for it.”
“Not everyone looks at it that way.” I grimace, still remembering the way she said those words. ‘Super experienced’. “You said it yourself—there are a lot of rumors.”
“And they bother you? The rumors?” she asks seriously.
I gape at her. “What? Of course they bother me.