as someone else.
Mr. du Lac needs the terrace cleared.
“Neruda,” I begged Grayson, and fell to my knees, jaw clenched.
This will be the last time.
My uncle always said the only way to survive was to keep my dignity, and for me, I thought that meant living unseen.
Maybe that was the problem.
Maybe by hiding I’d actually given more power to those around me. I’d shoved flashlights into their hands and let them shove me into the shadows.
I needed to find the girl who gave West gum wrappers.
The girl who once stared Tansy in the eyes.
As a mistress I couldn’t speak unless spoken to, my place was written as second, but somehow I’d needed to find the strength to be seen, to live with dignity, while being the most shameful and hidden I’d ever been.
I know if I didn’t, the person I wanted to be, the dream I had for Grayson and me, would disappear completely.
“There.” West grazed his pointer along my jaw, from ear to ear. “I think she’s learned her lesson.”
It didn’t feel over, not by the look in Arthur du Lac’s eyes.
Grayson was barely holding it together, flexing and unfurling his fist.
Arthur’s hand fell to his belt. “You know the rules.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary, Dad,” West bit out.
Rules.
Flashbacks to Madame, her ruler landing between my shoulder blades.
I can’t protect you if you refuse to learn the rules.
West bent down, wrapping his arm around my waist, dragging me up to his side. “You see, I can’t let anything too rough happen to her.” He held up a small, black postcard.
The sonogram.
“We’re expecting.”
Twenty-Nine
STORY
I stared at the sonogram in West’s hands. Our little lemon, Grayson’s Christmas present to me, in his hands.
Lottie was the first to speak. “You’re expecting?”
I broke off before the word left my lips.
Don’t. Speak.
Learn the rules.
So instead of apologizing, I just…was quiet, and tried to get around the person.
“Is it really my brother’s baby?” Lottie’s eyes swiveled from me to her brother.
Why did she sound so desolate? And why did I want to tell her the truth?
I could only focus on Grayson. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched so tight the muscle bounced. And his eyes…they were the sun. Burning with a pain so stark I wanted to look away before they blinded me. Pain so hot it lanced.
My little Meyer lemon was not West’s.
Her face crumpled. “Con-congratulations.”
“She’ll be taking the du Lac name, then,” Tansy eyed me, eyes sharp.
I opened my mouth to say of course not but it was like West could sense it. He gripped my elbow painfully. “Of course.”
Lynette eyed me, venomous. “Wonderful.”
West used his grip to spin me, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes tight, my lips tighter.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I wanted the words to bleed into him.
Bleed into me.
When he finished, Grayson and Lottie were gone, and people poured onto the terrace—even though they shivered. Music flooded the terrace, louder than inside, as if Tansy was trying to drown out what just happened.
“Well…” Lynette gave me one last look, then returned to the ballroom. Arthur du Lac followed his wife inside, staring after me, his look leaving shivers down my spine.
West’s grip on my hip was iron, as if he knew I wanted to bolt.
“We said we wanted to wait,” I hissed at him.
“And you told me nothing happened.” West waved at someone across the terrace. “A thank you would be nice.”
I could barely breathe through my indignation. “Thank you?”
“I just did you both a fucking favor.”
“A favor?” I yelled, but it was drowned out by the music.
West gripped my elbow, spinning me to him. “You’re showing, Angel. Everyone knows, but now they think it’s mine. Or at least, we planted a seed of doubt.”
“We said we wanted to wait!” I said it again, because it was all I had. It was my Hail Mary.
“Should I have let my father whip your back with his belt?”
I swallowed air. That was what was going to happen? Arthur’s dark eyes popped in my head like the Cheshire cat’s disappearing stare.
“I told you I can’t protect you if you refuse to understand the rules.”
All of West’s ominous warnings, my time getting beaten in Scotland with Madame’s eerie she’s not ready echoing in my ear… It came crashing down like a wave and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.
“I—”
“Stop. Talking.”
West dropped my elbow, and pushed me behind him. The party disappeared behind his massive shoulders. With the stone railing behind me, the steps to an empty beach on one