Lottie never does. I made a mistake. I broke the rules. I did something for me. And I ruined everything.”
I knew I would never get this moment ever again. So I stole it. But I stole it for me. No one else.
I sat beside Lottie as my first night with Grayson came rushing back. That girl I once was, a thief stealing moments that didn’t belong to her, because she didn’t have the courage to demand a moment of her own.
I thought I’d ruined everything, too.
“Did you ruin everything?” I asked.
She glanced at me.
“I mean, maybe it needs to be ruined. Broken. Maybe it shouldn’t be fixed.”
Her gaze traveled back to the dress. “I want this to be over, I want this nightmare to end. I don’t want to become my mother. I know what I need to do, but I can’t do it. I’m so afraid.”
I looked at the dress, casting a gaunt shadow along the hardwood. I didn’t have any idea what Lottie was going through, what secret had bound itself across her chest. But I knew the feeling.
The fear.
“Stop looking at their shadows.”
Forty-Eight
STORY
I stayed up all night waiting for West to come to bed, but he never did. Now it was the morning of the long-awaited baby shower and my gaze kept slipping in the mirror, over my shoulder to the double doors. I think I’d worked my bottom lip raw with nerves, waiting for them to open, my heart on fire with simultaneous anxiety and excitement.
Today could be the day Grayson and I were both free.
My girl had come to ready me and was fastening the diamond pendant at my neck, when the doors finally creaked. I jumped off the vanity stool, and my girl let out a startled yelp as the necklace fell from my neck.
She dropped to the floor to grab the diamonds, and I spun to see West. He leaned in the doorway, his head lolling to the side.
My heart pounded painfully against my chest as I waited for him to speak. This was the first time I actually wanted to see West, that I wanted him to speak first, and he was silent.
As the seconds dragged on in silence, I finally spoke first. “You didn’t come to bed last night.”
“Do you fucking care?” he growled.
I chewed my bottom lip. “Yes.”
His eyes narrowed.
West seemed off. Unhinged. He was always so perfectly put together, his bow tie even, his suits tailored, his smirk perpetual.
Now the bow tie hung off his neck, his suit was wrinkled, the jacket lay somewhere I couldn’t see. He only wore a dress shirt, rolled up on one sleeve.
I stared at the phone in West’s hand.
Songbird.
So close to our happily ever after.
I let out a shaky breath, trying to rid myself of nerves, and closed the distance between us. The cloudy blue fabric of my Grecian empire dress trailed as air across the hardwood.
“I wanted to tell you something last night, but you weren’t here. I…” I worked my bottom lip harder between my teeth. “I choose you. I’m finally choosing you, West.”
He eyed me suspiciously, then gripped my waist viciously, dragging me flush against his body. The smell of alcohol came off him in burning waves.
“My songbird, do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” His head fell between my neck and shoulder. “You’ll never choose me.”
He lolled from side to side, and I gripped the doorframe to keep us both steady.
“I do,” I said. “I choose you. It’s always been you.”
He lifted his head, searching my eyes. For a moment, his softened and I saw the walls crack.
Then he shoved me off him with such force, if my girl hadn’t caught me, I think I would have fallen.
She held my elbows, helping me to stand up. I felt her presence linger at my back, oddly comforting, as West closed the distance between us.
He eyed me from down his nose, his sharp jaw a shadow.
“I could lock you in this tower for decades and you still wouldn’t choose me.”
He was right about that. It took him months, but at least he finally fucking figured that out. And still, I don’t think he’d let me go.
I think West would rather me trapped and miserable, but his, than free. Wasn’t that the difference? Grayson Crowne would rather me safe and happy, even if it meant not with him, as long as I was free.
“Then what’s the point of all this, West? If you won’t even let me choose you?”
A vicious shadow fell