you?’
‘I suppose so,’ said Alice. ‘Can I have some money, then?’
‘We’ll go shopping together,’ said Liz firmly. ‘We’ll go into Silchester on Saturday and each buy something nice for the party and then have lunch out. How about that?’
‘Yeah, I suppose,’ said Alice. ‘Or I could go on my own, after school,’ she added casually.
‘No you couldn’t,’ said Liz. ‘You could come with me on Saturday, or you could go in your black jeans and my red corduroy shirt.’ Alice grinned mistrustfully at her.
‘All right,’ she said. ‘Saturday.’
Silchester on Saturday was always packed. As they strode into the market square, Liz groaned.
‘We should have come at nine o’clock,’ she said. ‘It’ll be hell.’
‘Never mind,’ said Alice, glancing around at the heaving crowds. She looked at Liz and thought that possibly it could be OK going shopping with her. As long as she didn’t try and force her into a pair of disgusting shoes like last time . . .
‘Excuse me! Might I have a minute?’ Alice looked up. A young man with a quiff and a clipboard was bearing down on her. She hesitated. Someone at school had said yes to one of these people recently and got to taste loads of different chocolate cake. ‘All right, then,’ she said. She looked at her mother. ‘It won’t take long?’
‘No time at all,’ said the man. ‘Just a few simple questions. Do you live or work in Silchester?’
‘Yes. Live, I mean.’
‘Are you married, single or attached?’
Alice blushed. ‘Why do you need to know that?’ she said.
‘We’re offering a new dating service in Silchester,’ said the man. ‘Lots of lonely people out there, you know.’
Alice blushed harder. ‘I’m still at school,’ she said. ‘I don’t think—’
‘Oh!’ The man looked more closely at her. ‘You’re quite right,’ he said. ‘Eighteen and over only. My apologies.’ He began to walk off. But Liz’s voice arrested him in his tracks.
‘Hang on a minute! Why didn’t you ask me?’ The man turned back.
‘Well,’ he said uncertainly. Alice gave a flabbergasted look at Liz.
‘Why didn’t you ask me?’ repeated Liz. ‘You never know; I might be interested in your service.’ The man glanced at her gloved left hand.
‘I assumed . . .’ he began.
‘Assumed I was married? Assumed I was too old for that kind of thing?’ Liz shook back her hair, and smiled at the man. ‘How do you know I’m not young, free and single? Or, at least, free and single?’ The man grinned back, and patted his quiff.
‘I suppose I don’t. Are you?’
‘Young? Not very, I’m afraid.’
‘Rubbish,’ said the man gallantly. He winked at Alice, and she cowered inside her collar, hot with embarrassment and outraged at Liz. What was going on with her? Why was she talking like this to a stranger? She must be getting old and eccentric or something. She should have known, Alice thought miserably to herself, that coming out shopping with her mother would be a mistake.
‘OK then,’ said the man cheerfully. ‘Let’s start again.’ He turned over to a new sheet of paper with a flourish. ‘Do you live or work in Silchester?’
‘Yes. I live here.’
‘And are you married, single or attached?’
‘Sometimes I feel all three,’ said Liz conversationally.
‘Mum . . .’ said Alice in an agonized voice.
‘All right.’ Liz relented. ‘I’m married. Attached. Whatever. And I’m not interested in a dating service.’ She paused. ‘But I’ve made you think a bit, haven’t I?’
‘So I was right in the first place!’ said the man, in mock-indignation. ‘I knew you were married.’
‘Yes, but I might not have been, might I?’ said Liz, raising her eyebrows at him. ‘I’d try that woman over there next,’ she added, pointing to a grey-haired lady pulling along a tartan shopping trolley. ‘You never know. So long!’ She began to stride off, and Alice scuttled after her, giving an apologetic look to the man with the clipboard. Sometimes her mother astounded her.
By lunchtime she was even more astounded. They’d gone straight to Sedgwick’s, the big department store in Silchester, and up to the designer department. Her mother had talked to the sales assistants as if she was used to buying this kind of stuff all the time, and got three of them to keep bringing clothes to her in the changing-room. In the end she’d bought a pair of black trousers and a red silk shirt and together they came to more than two hundred pounds. Alice couldn’t believe it.
And then they’d seen a very short black dress, made out of lots of fringes.
‘Alice!