I feel the intensity of his eyes settling on me. It’s just as powerful as it’s always been, making my insides hum with awareness.
Knowing I can’t avoid him forever, I go sit on the stool by my dresser. My hand flutters self-consciously over my hair, making sure the scars are still covered.
“I’m sorry, Fallon,” Kao murmurs.
I lift my eyes to his and whisper, “It is what it is. Let’s just forget everything and move forward.”
Kao shakes his head. “I don’t want to forget, and there’s no moving forward without you.”
“It’s going to take me a while before I can be friends with you again,” I admit. If I ever manage to get to that point.
“I don’t want that either,” Kao says.
A frown begins to form on my forehead, and even though he hurt me, I still want him in my life. It pains me to say, “Then I guess the least we can do is to be civil with each other for the –”
“I want you,” Kao interrupts me.
I close my eyes against the mixture of pain and hope his words cause me.
Why now?
It’s been a month since everything went to hell. He pushed me away. He treated me like crap. I’ll never forget his anger and revulsion.
But I still love him.
“I want to be with you,” Kao repeats himself.
When I shake my head, my hand instantly flies up to make sure the hair didn’t move away from my cheek.
Kao gets up and walks toward me. When he crouches in front of me, he places a hand on my knee.
“I lied when I said I only cared for you as a friend. I was scared I wouldn’t see again, and I didn’t want to tie you down to a blind man who can’t offer you anything.”
His confession rips the air from my lungs, and too scared to let the hope fully back in, I can only stare at him.
“I love you, Fallon.”
Hearing the words for the first time is bittersweet. It’s all I ever wanted, but now it’s overshadowed by the trauma we suffered.
“Not as a friend but as a man,” Kao continues. “One who fucked up badly. I can only hope with time you’ll forgive me and give me another chance.”
“You hurt me,” I whisper, the wounds his words and actions have caused over the past weeks still raw.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could go back and do things differently.” My eyes flit over his face, looking for any sign of pity. “I love you,” he says again.
This is not how I wanted to hear those words. Not when everything is broken.
“It felt like you died,” I admit, wanting him to know how much he has hurt me. “I can’t just pick up where we left off. Too much has happened.”
“I understand,” he immediately agrees. “As long as you’ll give me a chance to show you, I’m still the same man I was before the accident.”
I suck in a trembling breath. “That’s the problem, Kao.” A frown begins to form between his brows, and it has me continuing, “The instant life got difficult, you left me. I understand the blindness was a huge shock and adjustment, but you pushed me away. Harshly. You took all your anger out on everyone around you. When I told you about my injuries, you shoved me aside with disgust.” I’m unable to continue as the tears threaten to fall. I take a moment to swallow them back and breathe through the heartache. “You hugged Mila, but you wouldn’t let me near you.” I suck in another trembling breath, then whimper, “It hurts too much.”
Kao rises to his feet, and taking hold of my shoulders, he pulls me up. When his arms wrap around me, I have zero strength to push him away.
KAO
Hearing how much I’ve hurt Fallon is hard. Needing to comfort her, I pull her against my chest and hold her tightly.
I press a kiss to the top of her head and say, “I was nothing short of an asshole. I’m so sorry. I wish I could turn back time and do things differently.” I press another kiss to her hair, then murmur, “One of the reasons I pushed you away was because I wanted to save you from being tied down by a blind man.”
Fallon pulls back and turns her face up to me. “What are the other reasons?”
“Because I hurt you,” I admit. “I can’t remember the accident, but I was the one driving. You got hurt when I should’ve