too much. Lifting a hand to my face, I cover my mouth as I pull away from Jase. I leave the room in a hurry, fighting to keep the tears back.
Darting down the hallway, I rush to the waiting room, praying it’s empty. The moment I walk inside, a sob escapes me.
“I’m so sorry, Fallon,” Mila says behind me, and then she comes to hug me.
I wrap my arms around my friend while I try my best to swallow the heartbreaking emotions back. I suck in a deep breath and then pull away from her.
“I’m fine.” I force a smile to my face as I meet her eyes.
I’m not okay. Not even a little.
KAO
It kills me being cold toward Fallon. I so badly want to hold her but keeping her at a distance is best. She’ll get over me in no time, and then she can move on with her life.
“Why are you doing this, Kao?” Jase snaps angrily.
I shake my head, not having the strength to face off with Fallon’s cousin again. Earlier today was enough to drain me.
I feel Jase move closer to me, and then he grinds out, “Answer me.”
I let out an exhausted sigh. “Drop it, Jase.”
“Drop it? Seriously?” he growls. “You just fucking hurt Fallon in front of me! You’re walking around blind when you can get your sight back. I won’t fucking drop it.”
“Do we have to do this now?” I snap.
“Yes. Explain to me why you’re behaving like a total asshole? Why won’t you go for the surgery? Why did you push Fallon away?”
I press my lips together, refusing to answer his questions. The second Jase finds out why I’m doing this, he won’t back down. I’d rather let him think I’m a bastard.
I feel Jase’s eyes burn on me. “This affects the whole group, and Mila’s just been through hell. We all have. I won’t have you upsetting Mila and Fallon more. They’re worried out of their minds, and so are the rest of us.”
I know Jase is right, and it tears me in half. I need to protect Fallon, but I don’t want to cause my friends any further pain.
To my surprise, Dad says, “Kao said he’d think about it.”
I can’t bear seeing what I’ve done to Fallon. I just can’t.
“Sorry, Mr. Reed, but thinking about it isn’t enough.” Then Jase snaps at me, “Just tell us what’s going on. God, none of this makes any sense.”
I clench my jaw, keeping my eyes and mouth shut.
If I thought that would be enough to deter Jase, I’m sorely mistaken.
“Kao, don’t fucking sit there and ignore me. I’ll stand here until you speak to me.”
To make matters worse, Noah asks, “Are we finally having an intervention?”
“Fuck,” I grumble. “Would you all just back off?”
“Nope.” Again Noah lets the ‘P’ pop, and it has me fisting my hands to keep from responding.
“We’re here because we love you, Kao,” Dad tries to reassure me.
A couple of seconds of silence pass, then Jase shouts, “Kao! Stop this fucking shit!”
My eyes snap open, and even though I can’t see anything, I glare in Jase’s direction. My anger spirals out of control and darting to my feet, I yell, “I hurt Fallon! Okay? Are you fucking happy now?” My breaths rush over my lips, and every muscle in my body is tense.
“Far from,” Jase growls. “That doesn’t explain shit to me.”
“I hurt her,” I grind the words out. “She’s scarred because of me!” I shake my head as all the guilt whirls with my anger, and it creates a turbulent storm inside me. “I was supposed to keep her safe.”
“Hold on,” Jase says, and I hear him move closer until his voice sounds up right in front of me, “Are you refusing the transplant because you feel guilty?”
Fuck. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
“Is Jase right?” Dad asks.
When I don’t say anything, one of them places a hand on my shoulder. I realize it’s Jase when he says, “Kao, that’s the same as me taking the blame for what happened to Mila.”
I shake my head hard. “I was the one driving.”
“The truck driver caused the accident,” Dad says. “You did everything you could to keep Fallon safe. You took the full brunt of the impact.”
“You’re going to punish yourself by staying blind? That’s bullshit,” Jase grumbles. “You’re putting us all through hell because of misplaced guilt.”
Jase is like a dog with a bone, and it has me admitting, “I can’t face seeing what I’ve done to her.”
A bark