would have set fire to a stone and he wouldn’t have been a man if he hadn’t gotten instantly hard.
There was no reason not to.
They hadn’t had a chance to talk to each other since last night and he’d been assuming that, again, the night had been a one-off. Another of the those rare moments to hold on to, to take with him when he left, and he’d thought Astrid felt the same.
Except it was clear that she didn’t.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He didn’t know why he was asking her when he very much wanted to take her up on the offer. “It’s broad daylight. People might notice us disappearing into my room together.”
“No, they won’t.” Her mouth curved in a sensual, sweet smile. “There’s no one else staying in the Moose, and no one’s going to notice us leaving Hope and Silas’s place.”
He wanted to, and very badly. And he didn’t understand where his reluctance was coming from…
No, he did know. Last night he’d held her in his arms and she’d looked at him with stars in her eyes, and those same stars were in her eyes now, bright and glittering.
She felt something for him.
It had happened so fast, him and the pretty mayor. Too fast. And now they’d gone beyond one pleasant moment, and ‘pleasant’ had become something more, something deeper.
It couldn’t.
“Astrid,” he said gently, “this is not—”
“I know what it’s not. Look, if one night was enough for you, then I understand. I just thought…well…”
Of course she’d thought that. She had no reason not to, especially as he hadn’t given her one. But…regret filled him.
He couldn’t sleep with her again, even though she wanted it and so did he—quite desperately. Even though refusing her would hurt her. He wasn’t going to mess around with her feelings just because his body wanted hers; that would make him no better than that asshole Aiden and he couldn’t stand that.
“It’s not that it was enough for me.” He let her see what was in his eyes. “It wasn’t. But last night…it was more than good, Astrid. It was special. And I don’t think special is what either of us want.”
Her mouth opened, then closed. Then she looked away. “No. I suppose not.”
Disappointment laced her voice, and it caught at him in ways he wasn’t expecting. He wasn’t supposed to care about this. And yet he was, and it shouldn’t be happening.
Living a surface life meant not caring too deeply, or at least not so deeply that it caused pain, yet he could feel her disappointment echoing in his own heart. Making him ache.
It was the phantom pain of an organ long dead, though. Her feelings might be engaged, but his weren’t, and that was why he needed to end this and fast. Disappointment he could recover from, but anything else took far longer, and he didn’t want to let it get to that stage.
“Don’t make this into something it’s not, Ms. Mayor,” he said quietly.
Her jaw tightened. “I only asked if you wanted to go upstairs. How is that making it into something it isn’t?”
“The look on your face when I said no.”
“It was only a question.” Her voice had cooled, the snow queen returning. “If you don’t want to, you don’t want to.”
He shouldn’t keep trying to explain himself, shouldn’t turn this into a big deal. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to ease it for her. Her history of men rejecting her had been an awful one, and he didn’t want to be just another in a long line of assholes.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Astrid. I just think this will be easier on both of us if we end it now.”
Her beautiful gray eyes turned chilly. “You’re assuming it’s something and it isn’t. It’s just sex.” The dismissal in her tone might have worked if she hadn’t glanced away again, as if she couldn’t meet his gaze. “Anyway, it’s not like I don’t have anything better to do.”
“Astrid,” he began.
“It’s fine,” she said before he could continue. “I’ll see you around, Damon.”
Then she turned and left him standing there.
* * *
Much later that afternoon, Astrid stood in the little Deep River library reshelving books when Connor came in. He was frowning, though not in an angry way, more as if he had a lot to think about.
She hadn’t had a chance to talk to him today about how his conversation with Damon had gone or about school, since in typical teenage fashion