and one purple gown while she was out. The sooner she reclaimed her life, the better. “While we’re at the market, you can look for things you’ll need for your baby.”
“Are you sure that won’t make you sad?”
“How can I be sad about a child I never conceived?”
“When you put it that way, I suppose it won’t do any harm to look for some baby items while we’re out.”
Emilia’s eyes lit up with excitement, and Kitty smiled. She was glad everything happening to her wasn’t going to dampen Emilia’s mood. Emilia should enjoy the fact that she had a husband who loved her and a child on the way.
Kitty was determined to do her best not to get in the way of that. Besides, it wasn’t like she was ever in love with Aaron. It would probably be a relief to go on with the rest of her life as if he’d never been in it. Then she could live like an unmarried lady and enjoy the fact that she got to control her own life. With a smile, she decided that was how she’d look at things. She sat at the table and waited to have tea with her friend.
Chapter Eighteen
Aaron didn’t want to go back to Roger’s townhouse. He spent the next two days at White’s in hopes his friend would stop by, but when it became clear to him that Roger would rather be at home with Lilly and Jackson, Aaron made himself go to his friend’s residence.
He sat in the library, slumped in a chair, as he waited for his friend to show up. The past two days had been long ones. He didn’t think it was possible for time to go so slowly, or for events of the past to repeat themselves so often that he thought he might go insane. He rubbed his temples. He desperately wanted a reprieve from the memories of how he’d made Kitty miserable, but he couldn’t find it.
The door opened, and he jumped to his feet. “I need your help.”
Roger shut the door. “The footman said you looked distraught.”
He did? Aaron thought he’d been doing a better job of hiding the turmoil raging inside of him than that. What was the point of forcing himself to smile if the servants weren’t fooled? He slumped back in the chair.
“I’ve been a terrible husband,” he finally admitted.
“Yes, I surmised that by the way Kitty acted when you two were here to see Jackson,” Roger said as he went to the decanter.
“If you surmised it, why didn’t you visit me?”
Roger poured brandy into two glasses. “Did you really want me to tell you that you’re not being nice to your wife? I didn’t think you cared if you were nice or not.”
Aaron was about to say that he did care, but that would have been a lie. He let out a defeated sigh. “You’re right. I didn’t. Not until recently.”
Roger went over to him and gave him a glass. “What changed your mind?”
Aaron waited until his friend was sitting across from him before answering. “I realized she was a virgin. She hadn’t been going from one bed to another like I’d assumed.”
“How did you realize that? Did you consummate your marriage and note the proof of her virginity?”
“No. I haven’t been in bed with her. But when Miss Britcher left, I slept in the same room with her, and, without going into detail, she moved about the room as if I was Miss Britcher. If she had been with a gentleman at any time, she should have realized what I was thinking and how my body was reacting to her. But she was completely oblivious to any of it.”
Roger sipped his brandy and nodded. “There is a difference between a lady who’s been untried and one who is familiar with the bed. Lilly makes love to me differently now than she did when we were first together. But, Aaron, I also know Lilly, and Lilly knows Kitty. When Kitty came over here to tell her about the chaperone, she said there was no sense in Kitty having one since Kitty didn’t even know how to kiss a gentleman.”
“Yes, you tried to warn me. I was too foolish to listen.”
Roger’s expression softened. “I think scared is a better word. You think every lady is like your mother.”
“My mother hurt me. She hurt my father, too.”
“I know.”
Aaron stared at the brandy in his glass then drank some of it.
“I heard Kitty is staying with