it happen. It wasn’t up to Aaron whether he had an heir or not. She had to agree to it.
Thank goodness he hadn’t taken her up on the offer to try for one yesterday. If she had taken the time to really think through the ramifications of what he was planning to do, she never would have given him the option. Well, she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She would never let him touch her. She’d rather never have a child than have him run off with the one she had. She did have a choice in things. She was done being under his thumb. From now on, she was going to take control of her life, and he wasn’t going to stop her.
Chapter Seventeen
It was with great relief when Aaron finally sat in the carriage. He couldn’t recall a time when things had been more awkward. If only he could go back to his wedding day and do things differently. He would have spent time with Kitty and watched her for himself instead of letting Miss Britcher take over the task.
That was a grave error on his part. He had rushed ahead to judge her, just as he’d judged every other lady, and he was paying his dues. And, unfortunately, those dues were having an impact on his friendship with Roger. While Roger was still his friend, there had been that underlying tension between them because Aaron hadn’t been able to accept Lilly. Seeing how happy Roger was, he realized that Lilly was as good to him as Roger had told him. He sighed. He was going to have to stop comparing every single lady out there with his mother.
“You’re not going to have an heir,” Kitty said.
Surprised she’d spoken, he turned his gaze from the window and looked at her. At once, he regretted that decision. Her face was flushed with anger, and there was a spark of defiance in her eyes.
“I’m not going to do it,” she told him. “I will never let you be with me in a way that will result in a child. I’m not going to let you take my child from me.”
Though a part of him noted that this was a sudden change of attitude from yesterday when all she’d wanted to do was get things over with, he felt a stab of guilt as he thought over exactly what she was telling him. He hadn’t thought of things from her perspective before. He hadn’t once considered she might want to be a mother to his child.
His own mother hadn’t cared about him. She had only been concerned about her many lovers. Even when he was a child and she was still living with his father, she’d told him she had other things to tend to when he went to her for attention. She never once showed him any indication that she wanted him. His father, on the other hand, had shown interest in him, and the two had been close.
Having just seen Lilly, he could tell Lilly very much wanted to be a mother and that she was excited by the prospect of watching her son grow up. He had no doubt that Jackson was going to be a much-loved little boy, and a part of him had felt a flicker of envy as he’d watched Lilly fawn over the child. Why couldn’t his mother have been that way with him?
He bit back the urge to tell Kitty that he wanted a child. He hadn’t saved all those books he’d had as a child because he wanted to go back and reread them. He’d always envisioned reading them to his son like his father had read those stories to him. In the past, he’d assumed he’d have a son, but it was just now occurring to him that the child could be a girl.
And then what? Could he dismiss her because she was a girl instead of a boy? No, no he couldn’t. Whether the child was a boy or a girl, it would still be his.
“Marrying you was the worst thing that ever happened to me,” Kitty said as she fiddled with her gloves. “My plan was to remain unmarried because I was afraid I’d end up with a gentleman who was like my horrible brother, but you’re worse.” She looked at him. “At least when my brother takes a wife, he’ll never ask her to do without the child she’ll have. I’m going to leave your townhouse