the graveyard. A quick look at Nikki showed she hadn’t noticed anything either. She glanced down at me as if she expected me to do something.
When it looked like I wasn’t getting what she wanted me to do, she nudged me forward with a nod of her head towards the casket. Oh. It was that time already. I tried to keep my eyes off my father, who just watched us from his place by the tree and reached out to take one of the white roses off the casket. I clutched it in my hand and moved back to my spot, letting the aunts and other relatives have their turn at it.
I hurried a look at the tree and saw him staring at me. He had taken his sunglasses off now and I could practically feel his eyes boring into my skin. What was he doing? Without a remark to those around me, I pulled away from the pack and marched over to where the lone tree waited.
As I arrived in front of him, I took in his features. To my ever growing chagrin, I looked just like him. The straight blonde hair that swept across his forehead. His slightly blue green eyes and bowed mouth. Even the little upturn of his nose was the same and he didn’t have a wrinkle in sight. How was it that he looks this perfect when mom had had grey coming in and laugh lines around her mouth? It just wasn’t fair.
Ignoring his outstretched arms, I stopped in front of him arms crossed. “What are you doing here?”
He dropped his arms and just looked at me. What was he staring at? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me before. I hadn’t exactly changed since the age thirteen. Yea, I had boobs now and maybe a curvier figure, but I was overall still the same.
“You didn’t call me.” Had his voice always been that melodic? I glared down at the ground and kicked the dirt beneath my feet.
“Didn’t think you’d care.”
I watched his face turn from concern into anger and then controlled irritation. Wish I had that much control over my temper. I usually just let it all out. Probably another reason why I was getting in trouble all the time.
“Of course I care Eleanor. I’m not completely heartless.”
I snorted, “Could have fooled me.”
His eyes return to their previous concern and for a moment he seemed flustered. “I wanted to be here for you. Especially today. I…I didn’t know. I didn’t see.”
I stared at him for a moment, my mouth a gaped. I watched as he dragged a hand through his hair in a gesture I had never seen him use before. My dad was not the frazzled type. He didn’t get flustered. He didn’t show emotion. He definitely never said anything about ever seeing anything. My shocked look must have made him realize he was breaking his usual cool exterior, because he quickly dropped his hand and hid his eyes behind his sunglasses.
I forced my mouth closed and put on my best interrogator face. “You didn’t see what exactly?”
“Don’t start Eleanor. You know damn well what I said.” Oh, he wasn’t as put together as he seemed. I took joy in knowing he wasn’t as perfect as he puts off. Meaning he could be hurt.
“Don’t what? Don’t wonder why my father is never around? Don’t ask why he has never thought to mention to me not once that he could see stuff too?” I hold a finger up in his face. It felt good to vent. “Or how about the fact that when I was five, I watched my mother die and had nightmares about it for months!”
“Enough, Eleanor. Stop.” The calm in his voice made my own repressed anger break its leash.
“No! You don’t get to tell me when it is enough. Do you want to know she died crying out your name? Do you? She was waiting for you to save her!” I gripped the front of his meticulous suit, happy to ruin something of his. “Why? Why would she call for you? A husband who was never there, when I have been there for the last eighteen years and she wouldn’t let me save her. She wouldn’t let me!” A large part of me delighted in the pain that marred my father’s flawless face. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me all these years. Like he had hurt her.
“How long has your