in common. She liked to see the glass as half full, but most of the time it comes out as demented as me.
I smirked at her when I thought nobody was looking. “Killer.”
She giggled causing the older adults around us to glare back at her. She glared right back at them. “Livin’ up would you, it’s not like we’re at a funeral or something.” She turned her head back to me and quirked a brow. “So, how long did you know?”
“Jeez Nik, get right down to it, won’t you?”
She snorted and waved a hand at me. “Whatever, like you haven’t had enough people coddling you already.” She gestured to the group of relatives fawning over my mother’s coffin. “You could use a break from the sympathy wagon.”
She grabbed my hand and led me toward one of the side exits of the funeral home. I tried to dodge people the best I could, but a few brushed me here and there causing my vision to blur out momentarily. As we burst out the side door and out into the open air, I made a mental note to spend more time with Uncle Bob. Liver failure. Didn’t need to be a psychic to figure that one out. Though, I’d be an alcoholic too if I had to live with Aunt Kate’s criticism.
I leaned against the brick walls of the funeral home and dipped my hand into my clutch, my pack of cigarettes soon finding their way into my hand. Sweet reprieve. I didn’t know if I could have handled one more nugget of the future today without a nicotine fix.
“You really should quit, you know?”
I gave Nikki a pointed look as I light the end of the stick in my mouth and took a big inhale. She has never approved of my smoking. Cancer and all that.
“When I no longer have near death experiences on a daily basis, I will gladly give up my nicotine, but until that day comes you can kindly fuck off.” I blew smoke in her direction to punctuate my point.
She let out a small cough and waved her hand in front of her. “Hey, just because you want to die young doesn’t mean the rest of us do.”
I gave her an apologetic shrug though she knows I was anything but. It’s no secret that I didn’t want to live longer than I had to. I would have gone off and ended it already if it hadn’t been for mom and Nikki. Well, only Nikki now.
“So has your dad showed up?” Nikki tucked her hands in the pockets of her long black dress pants. Her long legs really did astound me. Being five two most of my teenage life had me accustom to always looking up, but at nearly six-foot Nikki dwarfed me.
I took another drag of my cigarette and stared down at the ground. “No.” I wanted her to drop it. I didn’t really want to see him. Didn’t know what I’d have said if I did.
“Well, what did he say when you talked to him?” My eyes snapped up to hers, I could feel my gaze harden. She wasn’t going to drop it.
“I didn’t.”
Nikki threw her curls over her shoulder and scoffed. “Meaning you didn’t try. I keep telling you, sometimes you have to be the first one to reach out if you ever want to have a real relationship with the man who helped create you.”
I flicked the cigarette and watched as it bounced across the pavement. She was on that kick again. Nikki was always working on a new self-improvement project and this year was repairing personal relationships. This was a conversation I definitely didn’t want to have right now.
“Can we not talk about this right now? I have enough to deal with today.” I looked down at my right hand and rubbed at the bent in c-shaped scar on the back of my hand near my thumb. I didn’t remember getting it, but lately whenever I start getting irritated it would start to burn like it had happened recently.
“You can’t hide your feelings forever Elle.”
“You know I think I’m starting to remember how you die. I think it had something to do with bees.” I tapped my chin, pretending to be deep in thought.
“Bees! But I’m not even allergic to bees!” The door to the funeral home opened and the pallbearers lead the people out with my mother’s coffin in hand. I moved towards Aunt Sue and away from Nikki’s squawking.
She has been