hands.
“Oh god, please put him back.”
“Hell no. He looks real with his ripped abs,” Lawson said. “And I’m pretty sure we can find some use for his fat cock.”
“Craig’s not in the mood.”
“You named it?”
“Of course I named it. Otherwise, he’d just be an unnamed stranger giving me the most awesome climax in my life.”
He stopped laughing and quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”
I batted my eyelashes. “Are you up to it?”
Lawson turned the one hundred and fifty-five inch silicone sex doll to him. “What do you say, Craig? Are you up to double-stuffing this boy until he learns some respect for both of us?”
I giggled. Him talking to the sex doll was funny, but I promptly stopped laughing when he laid Craig next to me on the bed. Lawson tugged his shirt over his head and beckoned to me.
“Come to Daddy, beautiful.”
I swallowed hard and crawled to him on my knees, almost tripping over the edge of the bed in my haste. My fantasies had come to life with the promise of a double stuffing. And wasn’t it lucky I already was pretty much prepped from all our rough play before?
12
Lawson
"Pinky promise you'll call me?"
Opie's pleading look haunted me as I listened without hearing whatever Cole said. It was almost a week since I'd been back, and other than the odd brushoff text, I hadn't answered Opie's calls, and it was killing me. Nothing about my life felt the same, and it was all because of one ill-advised eight-hour drive to a world where I had no place.
I'd taken from him when I knew I had no intention of returning. I hated myself. Just thinking about how happy he'd been when I'd reassured him I'd call him. I could imagine that happiness had faded by now.
It's for the best. It would never work.
Deep down, I knew that to be true, but it didn't help the ache in my chest. Or the way I worked myself into the goddamn ground every fucking day so I'd fall into bed from exhaustion without thinking about pretty boys with lithe bodies that defied gravity when they danced. A pretty boy. Just the one.
It didn't stop the dreams. The tinkling sound of his giggle and laughter still filled my ears. The memory of how he felt moving under me pulled me from sleep with a raging hard-on, and every night I reached for my boy who wasn’t there. In last night's bout of desperation, I'd fucked into the pillow until I came. Exhausted. And still missing him. Still dissatisfied.
"Law, hey!"
A slap at the back of my head brought my attention back to Cole, who had invited me out for drinks tonight. I'd finished working at the ranch early and thought it would be a good way to forget about him. I couldn't even think his fucking name without wanting to call him.
Daddy, I miss you.
When are you coming back, Daddy?
Do you want to visit for Thanksgiving? I feel so lonely without you.
Please say I can visit you this Christmas, Daddy?
Those goddamn messages of his were driving me to the madhouse.
Don't you still want me, Daddy? Please say you do.
I'd almost replied to that text. Almost. But then what? Bring up his hopes, only to fuck him over again? I'd taken one look around the main house of the ranch with its peeling paint, the porch that needed fixing, and I knew I was doing the right thing. And instead of answering, I drowned my sorrow in an entire bottle of cheap whiskey.
"Talk to me, man. You've been brooding since you arrived," Cole said.
I took a drink of my beer. It was supposed to be a special brew, but it tasted little better than piss.
"What's new about that?"
"It's even worse than usual."
I stared at the half-empty beer mug. Goddamn it. Why had I clicked that fucking Santa head?
"This is all your fucking fault," I growled.
Cole's jaw slackened. "What the fuck did I do?"
“I’m not talking about you.”
I dug my phone out of my pocket and angrily thumbed my way through the apps. I did what I should’ve done sooner. I deleted Cuffd, but it didn’t give me any satisfaction. The damage was already done. I couldn’t un-know the boy who had looked at me like I was his world, even when he’d known me for only a few weeks. He didn’t even know the real me, or he would have seen that I was one big fraud.
"Jesus, man, you need to calm down. I