It wasn't even his house anymore; she'd made it hers simply by living here, by moving through these rooms. How ironic that the haven he'd built with such care had become a prison. He hadn't even been able to sleep in it any more, not while she was here. Her presence awakened too many desires and fears inside him.
"Ines!" he bellowed, stomping through the house to the kitchen.
The stove was cold, the cabinets clean. Ines hadn't even prepared the noon meal. Where could she be? Had she gone with Caroline? Surely if she had, someone would have left word. Someone would have seen her leave.
Running both hands through his hair, he tried to clear his mind. Every room resounded with Caroline's memory. There were the flowers she'd arranged so carefully, her place at the table, the book left lying face down on the table beside her chair in the salon. Sending her away might be the single greatest mistake he'd ever made in a lifetime rife with mistakes.
Perhaps she could have saved him from himself. More likely, she would have been destroyed in the effort.
One thing was certain, he couldn't stay here alone. He'd go mad for sure. As he stalked into the courtyard, he had no idea where he was going, only that he had to get away, away from the memories lurking in every corner of the house.
As soon as he stepped into the clearing, Jason was surrounded by dozens of small brown-skinned Indians. The men were naked except for a thin cotton waistband. The women wore waistbands too, with aprons of thick cotton fringe about three inches long. Many of the women wore armbands to which they had attached bird feathers and leaves.
As always, he felt like a giant among these tiny people, a large, clumsy giant. The tallest, Socrates, reached only a little above his belt.
"Man from Somewhere Else!" Socrates called in his native tongue. "We haven't seen you in a long time."
Jason smiled at the appellation, remembering the Yanomami custom of not addressing a person by his given name. It was just as well. Since the Yanomami names were unpronounceable to the Europeans who first settled Brazil, the missionaries adopted the habit of giving the natives the most absurd names—like Socrates.
"I hope that you are well, brother-in-law," Jason replied in the same language, using the honorary title that Socrates had bestowed on him when he first came to this area. They walked toward the yano, a huge structure made of palm thatch, about thirty feet tall and several hundred feet in diameter.
"We are very well, yes!" Socrates told him, nodding his head for emphasis. "You will join us for dinner, yes?"
Jason's stomach growled. He'd left the house early that morning to avoid seeing Caroline. Until now, he hadn't realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten since dinner last night.
#####
The meal consisted of banana soup, rice, and smoked monkey. Jason ate at Socrates' hearth in the yano, while the other families of the community went about their business. Several of Socrates' brothers-in-law joined them.
After the meal, Socrates pulled out a long pipe to celebrate the gathering, talking animatedly as he filled the bowl with a mixture of wild tobacco and a ground leaf that produced a powerful hallucinogenic reaction. "So, Man from Somewhere Else, I have heard that you have a woman now—a tall, pale woman like you."
Jason took the proffered pipe. "I had a woman. She's gone now."
"You did not like her?"
Jason held the end of the pipe to his lips. He couldn't refuse to smoke with them without insulting his host, but he'd meant to pretend to inhale. Instead, he took a deep pull, hoping the drug would dull the pain in his heart. Perhaps it would help him forget at least for a little while that he would never see her again.
"She didn't like me," Jason replied, and the men around the circle laughed loudly.
"There is always my sister," Socrates offered, motioning toward the girl with a wave of his brown hand. "She needs a husband."
One of the brothers-in-law in the circle, a man Jason knew as Abraham, reacted by jerking his head around to stare at the woman in question. She sat in a circle of young women a short distance away, laughing and chattering, unaware that her entire life might be decided here tonight.
Abraham glared at Jason, and Jason stifled a smile. "The idea isn't unappealing," he assured Socrates. In fact, Jason had once toyed with the idea of taking