a little, Jason?" she suggested, growing angry despite her determination not to do so. She longed to touch him, to relieve the rigid tension in his body. "Haven't you ever been pleasantly surprised?"
"No, I haven't," he said seriously. "Now it's my turn to ask the questions. Why did you come here?"
"I knew you needed me," she replied simply. He still needed her. Why couldn't he admit it?
Jason stiffened. "I don't need anyone."
"Everyone needs someone. There's no shame in that."
Jason turned to go.
"No, please don't go. We can talk about whatever you want," she cried out, desperate for him to stay. If he walked away now, she knew she would never see him again, and she felt as if her heart would break at the thought. Tomorrow would come soon enough.
"What do you want from me?" he asked tiredly. "What did you hope to find here?"
"I don't know. Warmth, kindness, companionship." She paused, afraid of running him off again but equally afraid of not saying what was on her mind and regretting it for the rest of her life. "Whatever is eating you up inside—maybe it would help if you talked."
"There's nothing eating me up," he insisted tautly.
"Then talk to me, Jason. I'll be leaving in the morning. What can it matter? Tell me what you're running away from." She could feel him withdrawing, fortifying the defenses that kept them apart. "When will you learn that running away doesn't solve anything? You've isolated yourself in this jungle to escape your past, to forget who you are. It won't work, don't you see? The things that happened to you, they... they..
Her voice trailed off and she gazed away guiltily, horrified that she had almost said too much.
"What could you possibly know about anything?" he asked suspiciously. "You act as if you have some mysterious insight into my character. I've asked you before and I'll ask once again. Just what did Derek tell you about me?"
Caroline backed away from the furious accusation in his eyes. "Nothing, not really. But one tends to make certain assumptions about a man who hides away in the jungle."
"Well, perhaps you shouldn't assume," he informed her, the fury in his gaze lessening by degrees until it was gone altogether, replaced by a wary distrust. "Come, I'll walk you to your room."
Caroline approached him and he placed a hand on her elbow, steering her toward the spiral staircase she'd mounted so many times. This might be the last time she ever saw him, the last time he ever walked her to her room or touched her.
I've failed you, Jason, she thought. You believe you failed Peggy, and I've failed you. If only I had more time.
He followed her up the stairs to the landing above. She walked slowly, prolonging the inevitable moment when he would leave her outside her room.
"I have to go," he said huskily.
"Why? Where?" she asked, almost desperately. "I don't even know where you sleep at night."
"I don't usually," he admitted, though she could tell by the regret in his eyes that he hadn't meant to.
"Why not?" she asked eagerly, hoping for some further revelation, hoping to keep him near for a few more minutes, long enough to think of something, anything that might make him open up to her. "Tell me. Tell me what keeps you awake at night."
"It won't work, Caroline," he whispered, remorse evident in his tone. "We won't work. You're going back to New Orleans in the morning."
"But I'm here now," she reasoned, pressing her body against his without volition, wrapping her arms around his muscled back. She offered her lips to him, her heart, her soul, her body.
"Don't," he ground out. His rasping breath undermined his struggle to appear unmoved.
And as he denied her with his words, his body responded to her with a will of its own. She recognized the turmoil in his eyes as his arms tightened around her and he drew her toward him, his lips covering hers gently at first, then harder, deepening the kiss with a fierceness that set her blood afire. A feral groan echoed inside his chest, vibrating through her body. Her lips parted beneath his, opening to his fervor. She felt the hard ridges of muscle as her hands played upon his broad back.
If I can make him desire me, maybe I can make him love me.
Then suddenly his hands grasped her arms and pulled them from around him, putting her away from him. His eyes burned with passion in the pale moonlight.