to ensure the fae people are safe. I need you strong. Weakness will not be tolerated.”
Tears pricked at my eyes as his grip tightened.
“Don’t cry, Lucinda. It does nothing but make you weak. You are of no use to me if you can’t be what I need—what the fae need. You wouldn’t want that, would you? We have something special.”
My lip quivered as I sucked in a breath, keeping the tears from falling. “Of course not, King Zephyr. I never want to disappoint you.”
The memory made me shudder in disgust. When I’d truly understood what he’d done and how wrong the grooming was, a large part of me shut down, and a new side came to life. A side that had kept me safe and gave the king exactly what he wanted. Though, my actions had also protected me, so it took a lot longer to see through his manipulations.
Then, I thought about Finn, the emotions he’d stirred in me and how he’d come along just when I’d been feeling like I needed a change.
Was he the change I was searching for? Was he worth the risk of getting hurt again?
I didn’t have the answer to either of those questions. As I traversed the orchard, I tried to list the pros and cons of what it would mean to open my heart to the possibility that I didn’t have to be alone for the rest of my life just to stay safe. Maybe I could trust someone to stand by my side without completely losing who I was.
Over the last few days, Finn had seemed to be more accepting of my thought process and how I viewed the world. If we could meet in the middle…
Gods, why was this so hard?
Because you know it’s wrong, the voice I thought I’d blocked out murmured.
Did I, though? The darkness no longer gave me the relief I normally craved. Instead, I’d begun to resent that part of me a little more each day as it continued to grow stronger. What would happen if I could no longer control what resided within me? That wasn’t something I wanted to visualize.
Regardless of how strong the darkness was getting, thoughts of Finn couldn’t be suppressed. Nothing I had done as of late made me feel like I did when I’d been wrapped in Finn’s arms. Even if I’d refused to acknowledge it until now, there had been comfort and excitement.
Those were things I hadn’t had in many years—if ever—and with that thought, I had my answer.
If I was going to stay true to who I was, I couldn’t run from what was happening. I needed to own the new feelings and face them head on. If I got hurt in the process, well, then so would a lot of other people and I would have to deal with that. I didn’t want to be afraid of anything, not even something that could potentially ruin me.
Without realizing it, I’d already begun to make my way toward the house. I quickened my pace and was just coming out of the trees when Dain came running toward me from the back side of the house.
He skidded to a stop. “They’re coming.” His breathing was heavy, and I had no idea why he’d been running when he could have flown.
“Who’s coming?” I asked.
“The Renegades. They’re bringing an army right here as retaliation for the people they lost since King Zephyr thought they were the ones to poison the food and water on West Island.”
Shit. I wasn’t ready for a fight, but I wouldn’t back down, either.
“How soon until they get here?” I asked, wishing Neva was around. She would already be grabbing what I needed for a battle.
“Five, maybe ten minutes?” Dain was finally breathing normal again and straightened. “What can I do?”
The door to the house opened as we came out of the trees. Finn stepped out, eyes tired. “What’s going on?”
“The Renegades are coming back with a small army,” Dain replied.
Finn’s eyes found mine, and instead of the resentment I expected for bringing trouble to his home, there was determination. “I’m going to send out a call. The Renegades might have their army, but they’re not the only ones fighting for a better life.”
I raised a brow, impressed he hadn’t been standing idly by while the fae world went to shit. Also, curious as to why he hadn’t mentioned anything about another group of people.
Ivy came out as soon as Finn slipped back inside. “What’s going on?”
Dain began