to do for you, and I’ll keep doing so, but right now, they need me more. I hope you’ll stick around to see that as well.”
She disappeared, leaving me alone, and for the first time since I was a child, I didn’t like it one damn bit.
Chapter 10
This was bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.
At some point after I’d chased after the guard, Ivy and the guy she was with had disappeared as well. So, I paced in the forest, moving away from the dead body I shouldn’t care about. After seeing the upset from Finn and the disappointment from Neva, though, I didn’t know how I felt.
I knew I wasn’t okay. I had issues beyond comprehension, but for a while now, I’d believed as long as I didn’t care about my problems or anyone else, then I could avoid the heavy stuff. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe I was just losing it.
Though, the stronger emotions were beginning to suffocate me. I kept trying to stuff it down, but they came back with a vengeance every time, partly in thanks to the people around me.
Just because I wasn’t warm and fuzzy, didn’t make me a bad person. I had good intentions. Well, most of the time.
Didn’t that count for anything? Especially when their version of good seemed to be warped into some fairytale story that didn’t actually exist.
The tortured look on Finn’s face when I killed the guard made me want to prove him wrong. Sure, I knew I wasn’t good, but what I’d done had been right. Good and right didn’t always mean the same thing, and I was perfectly fine with merely being right.
They all expected me to leave.
Then, do it. You know it will be easier. You only need yourself to be happy. We can come back when you’ve forgotten about them. My inner voice said what I wanted to hear, but I knew it was wrong.
I had to stop King Zephyr. Even if it meant Ivy died in the process. Again, good versus right. Even Ivy had seemed to understand at least that.
Without overthinking my decision, I was determined this would be the final one, regardless of what happened next. I’d spent too much time over the last couple days being unsure about myself. It needed to end.
Instead of continuing to walk, I spread my wings and soared between the dying tree trunks until I saw water, then arced around and flew back onto North Island. I could have teleported myself back, but I spent this time with leisure, taking in the landscape.
On North Island, a creek wound between the farms and their crops were thriving, unlike the lands I’d just left behind on South Island. King Zephyr at least wasn’t a complete idiot and knew he needed the fae on this island more than they needed him. He could afford to lose one food source, but not two.
The landscape varied from freshly turned ground to colorful crops and orchards. I found some more pomegranate trees and swooped down to snag another. They weren’t common enough among the humans, and I was enjoying having them at my disposal.
My house growing up had one, and I remembered sitting underneath it with the animals and sharing the seeds. Well, until the falcon had come along. He’d poked holes in all of the fruit and tortured the animals until I’d decided enough was enough.
My birth-givers were just another example of people who didn’t understand me. I didn’t murder the stupid bird; I killed him in defense of the other animals and in preservation of my fruit tree. There was nothing wrong with that. If they’d only listened, they might have understood, too.
I hadn’t seen them in over a decade, and I briefly wondered if I passed by them, if they’d even recognize me or I them. My face twisted. Gods, I hoped not.
When I arrived back at the Barlow farm, there wasn’t anyone outside. I glided down to the dirt driveway and walked gingerly toward the house. Shouts could be heard, so I took my time and listened in.
“Even if we could convince her to come back, she’s more likely to get you killed than save you,” Finn grumbled.
“No, the king is going to get me killed. Whatever Lucinda does can only help. I’m pretty much dead already, so I’m prepared for the worst-case scenario. You need to go find her,” Ivy responded.
“You’re telling me you’d rather trust your life to someone who just killed a guard for no