to feel proud. I’d been impulsive out there. I’d listened to my gut, which I wasn’t sure I could trust. I wasn’t the type of guy to protect anyone, but Rena awakened something in me. The way I’d pulled her onto my lap in my SUV. The way I’d let her dominate me. She’d kissed my chest and left me wanting more. I never want more.
I prided myself on being able to walk away from women. Melinda, I could tell by the angry slant of her eyebrows, did not appreciate my making out with Rena. I’d struck a careful balance with Melinda in the storeroom twenty minutes ago. Letting Rena claim me in front of her might have blown it. Why did I do that?
Because I fucked up, came the automatic answer.
Great. I’d sprouted a fucking conscience. Normally, my only concerns revolved around whether or not she’d rat me out and cause trouble for Sonny and me. I’d dragged her into this mess, and her claiming to be my “mule” wasn’t as far off the mark as I would have liked.
I blew by Melinda, who gave me the evil eye from across the kitchen. Let her be pissed. I didn’t give a shit. What I cared about, I realized as an uncomfortable chill skated down my spine, was Rena.
“Remember when you used to be smart?” I muttered to myself as I unlocked the office. What good came from attachment? Save for Sonny who, let’s be honest, could turn on a dime at any moment.
I opened the safe, retrieved my wallet, and stuffed it into my pocket. There was a condom tucked into the inside flap. If I’d had it with me, could I have convinced Rena to ride me home right there on the seat? Despite her promise to “punish me” by stopping, I bet I could have made a damn good plea. I could see it in her eyes. She still wanted me.
You want her, too.
I did. When I saw how hurt she was over finding me with Melinda, I raced after her and chased her outside. Melinda could easily turn me in. And now that she’d seen that display against the SUV, she might. Christ. That was stupid.
I told myself I was the one with the control, but whenever Rena was around—whether her soft tits were pressed against my chest or not—control went right out the window.
I forgot about control. Forgot about the rules. Forgot about my vow not to become an epic screwup like dear ole dad. The only thing that mattered was the honey-sweet tickle of her breath in my ear as she said my name.
I’d wanted her to claim me.
I shut the office door. Melinda sent me a sharp look before disappearing into the walk-in. I should go to her, wedge myself back into her good graces. It wouldn’t be hard. She’d been coming on to me for months. I’d resisted her because I had a rule about not bedding the staff, but also because she rubbed me the wrong way.
Now I resisted for a different reason.
Before I’d met Rena, I wouldn’t have hesitated to go to Melinda, insert her firmly into the “circle of trust” again. Muddy her mind with a few kisses and promise more like them later.
I stuffed my arms into my coat and shoved open the back door, my movements jerky. I didn’t want Melinda. I never had. I wanted Rena. Only Rena. Which made my skin itch. I refused to get attached, though. I doubted much good would come of it for me, and I knew zero good would come of it for her.
My newly formed conscience shook its head and issued a warning. Stay away from her. She’s too good for you. So, I gagged and hog-tied it.
I could stay away from her if I wanted to. I didn’t want to.
Paul wouldn’t have let me in if I hadn’t surprised him, which was why I hadn’t called. I waited until Tuesday to see him, when the three games I’d helped him bet on—the “last” ones, he’d assured me (sure, okay)—were done.
He’d won a chunk of change. I wanted to make sure he paid Sonny before Sonny started sniffing around and learned that Paul was very much in town. And very much rerouting Sonny’s payout to Tex.
So, Paul let me in. I walked to the living room and sat on his couch. He sat, too, resting his elbows on his knees and studying a laptop screen. A spreadsheet listed his