of the kitchen and down the hallway.
I know exactly where he’s going. You hear the sliding back door open and slam shut a second later. She goes to follow him, but I reach out and grab her upper arm, pulling her to a stop. “Don’t.”
Her worried green eyes meet mine. Cole has always been a hothead, but things haven’t been the same since our friend Kellan tried to kill her.
“Something is wrong.”
“I’ll take care of it.” I always do. Always have. Cole is my brother. He’s been through some shit, and I’m always there for him. “Just go back up to bed.”
She looks like she wants to argue, but I turn and open the fridge. I grab a bottle of vodka that I was saving for this weekend and then a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of our junk drawer and leave her standing in the kitchen.
I exit the house and step out onto the back patio. Cole’s shirt sits on the ground next to the pool with his sweatpants. He has “Things That Make You Scream” by Memory of a Melody playing softly from his phone through the outside speakers. And I wonder if it’s a sign from God regarding the dream I just had. Which is crazy ’cause I’m not religious.
I plop down in a chaise lounge chair and unscrew the cap on the bottle. Breathing in the cool night air, I take the new pack of cigarettes and slam the end into my palm. After the whole Demi and Becky thing, I could use a fucking joint, but they drug test us at the university. The only downfall of being an athlete.
He pops his head out of the water and takes a deep breath.
“It’s not her fault,” I tell him.
“No. It’s mine.”
I can’t argue that. “I can’t let you take all the blame,” I counter with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. He doesn’t return it.
“I’m not doing this, Deke,” he growls, running his hands through his wet hair to shove it out of his eyes. “I said I was done, and I meant it.”
I nod, lighting the cigarette. Taking a long drag, I blow out the smoke. I don’t normally smoke, but I need one right now. “I don’t think it was talking about Austin.”
“Then who was it talking about?” he barks.
“Maybe Becky,” I offer.
He snorts. “Why her?”
“It could have been the fact that she walked away from the accident.” At the mention of her, I take a swig of the bottle. I need to tell him … Maybe I’m having fucked-up dreams because I’m not being truthful to my best friend.
“How would they know?” he demands. “I only told you and Austin.”
Hmm. True.
I offer. “Maybe someone else was there …?”
“No!” He shakes his head. “There was no one for miles. And if there were, they wouldn’t wait until now.”
True.
I take another drag from the cigarette.
“Well … I guess, maybe …” He trails off, rethinking that option. “But what about what happened to the baby? She had to have gone to the hospital. I’m guessing she lost it.”
I stiffen at his words as I’m thrown back into the conversation I had with Becky three months ago at Mr. Holt’s house in her bedroom.
The first tear runs down her face. I watch it in complete fascination, thinking it’s a good look on her. That I should have made her fear me more than try to make her love me.
“Was it mine?”
No one knows how far back Becky and I go. Cole believes I’m in love with her, and a part of me was, but we started fucking long before he told me she had broken up with David. I had to pretend I didn’t fucking know. That just gave us the green light to go public. And the fact that Cole went all alpha for Austin, making the entire school aware he was claiming her, took the attention off what Becky and I were doing. The few whispers I did hear were shut down quickly for her sake. But we had been fucking for months prior to that. David be damned.
“So, keeping us a secret had nothing to do with you and David. It had to do with you and Eli.” Until he died. I get it now. Fuck, I was stupid for her. “Was the child …?” I begin to ask again, but my voice trails off. I chuckle. This bitch! “You weren’t even pregnant.”
“Yes …”
“No.” I shake my head. Of course. How