Sarah was a servant, nothing more. What was I? Would he expect more touching? More kissing? Would I relent? Stupid question. Of course I would. The attraction I felt for Gabe could neither be explained, nor denied. I wanted him. Wanted him so desperately, that I was willing to give up everything.
Lord, I was a bleeding idiot.
“There you go.” Sarah tugged at the back of the dress, doing up the tiny buttons. The bodice molded to my torso. I felt like a wrapped present, waiting to be opened. “It fits perfectly. He said he’d be waiting for you downstairs in the library.”
I took the gloves and pulled them up my arms as I moved to the mirror. Vaguely, I was aware of Sarah in the background, her hands clasped together in glee. I remembered Aunt Helen buying me a pair of kid gloves when I’d been young, and how I’d proudly worn them to church. It was the last time I’d worn gloves, or gone to church.
“You do look beautiful, miss.”
I couldn’t help but feel as if I didn’t deserve such riches. Who was I to wear something that probably cost as much as I made in a year? To wear something so decadent, while people like Violet worked long, dreadful hours, going to bed hungry. I moved to the chair, pulled Gabe’s cravat from the cushion, and tucked it into my bodice. For some reason, keeping it close, made me feel better.
Think of what you could do for your friends…
I breathed deeply. Could I be his mistress? I would certainly enjoy the act of making love to him. No, not love. Men like him didn’t love their mistresses. They used them for pleasure, tossing them aside when finished. But when he did toss me aside, I’d have everything I could ever want. Everything I’d need to help Violet. Perhaps even enough to help others.
“Miss, are you well?”
I forced a smile. “Yes, Sarah. Of course.”
I couldn’t deny the flutter of excitement that wavered through me at the thought of seeing him again. I headed out the door and down the stairs. I liked him, I realized with some disgust. Although I knew I shouldn’t, I felt connected to him in a way I’d never felt connected to a man before. There was an ease between us, as if in some other world, in another time, we’d known each other. Been intimate with each other, even. Romantic and silly, perhaps, but it felt right.
At the bottom of the steps, I hesitated. I could hear maids moving back and forth, the clatter of silver as someone cleaned in the dining room. Lamps gave a soft glow to the foyer, making the polished marble floor gleam. I’d grown used to the sounds of the estate. Used to the scents. The warmth. Even if they hadn’t gotten used to me.
A fire burned brightly in the library, bringing the room to life. Last night it had been the place of dreams, today it was a cozy reality. I paused on the threshold; my gaze pinned to that spot near the hearth where we’d been intimate. No blanket, no pillow. Not a trace remained, as if it had been a dream. Did he obsess over that moment? Did he crave me like I craved him? I started toward the fireplace when a letter upon the side table caught my attention.
I hate it here. Why did I have to switch schools?
At the bottom of the page, the name Tommy was scrawled in a childish hand. How very peculiar.
“You like to read?”
Startled, I spun around. A man sat on the settee against the far wall. He held a glass of wine in hand and a casual ease in his atmosphere. The very man I’d heard Gabe talking to that night I’d arrived sodden and irate. Who was he?
Blushing, I stepped back, away from the letter. “Yes. Very much.”
His attention remained locked on me as he lifted the drink and sipped slowly. There was something calculating in his movements, something determined in his gaze that made me wary. I didn’t like him. And I knew he didn’t like me.
“I’m sorry. Do you know where Gabe might be?”
“Gabe, is it?” He quirked a brow. “My brother is speaking with his butler, I believe.”
The man was Gabe’s brother. Of course. I could see the resemblance in their demeanor, if not their looks.