Cursive - By Phoebe Lane Page 0,102

the phone to Jace later that night.

"Hey, babydoc. What happened? You sound upset."

"I couldn’t do it. I went to his parent’s house and I just froze. I saw his mom and it just hit me like a ton of bricks, what I was about to do, how I’m about to turn their world upside down. I…I don’t know…"

"What is it? What don’t you know?" Aislynn could hear the anxiety in his voice.

"I don’t know if I’m being selfish; if I’m only doing this for me rather than for them. The look on her face when she saw me…"

"Aislynn, I want you to know that I will support you in whatever you decide to do, at least as much as you let me." Her heart tightened at his words, realizing he still felt hurt about her doing this without him. "And as much as it pains me to see you hurt, I really think this is something you need to do and go through. The way you’ve dealt with Christopher’s death up to now is obviously not working, so you might as well try it this way."

She mulled over his word and was transported back to something one of her attendings had told her when she had started treating her first psychotherapy patient in residency.

"Like chemotherapy," she whispered with her eyes closed, imagining Jace was sitting next to her, soothingly running his fingers through her hair.

"I’m sorry, what?"

"Chemotherapy. Confronting something like this is like going through chemo. It makes you feel miserable and sick in the beginning, but eventually it heals you."

"Yes, just like that…I love you, babydoc."

"I love you too. And I miss you, Jace. More that you know."

Aislynn drove to the Sparks' house the following morning and didn't give herself any time to second guess her actions. She parked in front of the house this time, grabbed her bag, and walked to the door. It opened halfway through the second knock.

"Hi, Aislynn," Mrs. Sparks said, a nervous smile playing on her lips.

"Hi, Emma," she said, and caught a glimpse of Mr. Sparks coming out of the living room. He appeared visibly tense and nervous.

"Please, come in, dear," she said and ushered her inside.

"Aislynn," Charles said, his tone clipped, and showed her into the living room. The place looked exactly the same as the last time she had been there. Thanksgiving had been the last holiday they had all spent together.

They all sat down, Charles in his reclining chair, Emma across from Aislynn in the love seat. "I'm so sorry about yesterday. I don't—"

"No explanations needed. We understand being here must be very difficult for you," she said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm…okay," she said with hesitation. She explained to them what she had been up to, the places she had been to, and about her plans to settle down in San Diego.

"We're so happy you're doing well. Really," Charles added, which surprised Aislynn to no end. He had never been the talkative type. The fact he said those words gave her the courage to continue.

"I have…I need to have a very difficult conversation with you, and I need to start by saying that I'm so sorry I didn't do this sooner," Aislynn added, her eyes locked on the vase sitting on top of the coffee table.

You're here for this. This needs to be done. No more backtracking.

Aislynn fidgeted in her seat, and sat forward, her elbows resting on top of her thighs, her hands covering her face. She needed a few seconds to control her breathing and her heart rate before she said the words she had been dreading to say for so long. She reminded herself that she had survived saying them to Jace, and even though this audience would be considerably more affected by the news, she would survive it nonetheless.

"It's about what happened to Christopher," Aislynn said, and finally looked up at them. What she saw happening in front of her eyes made her head spin. Emma was already in tears and Charles…

Charles was crying.

What the hell is going on?

Aislynn forced herself to continue, stunned that she was able to hold back her tears. "What happened to him wasn't—"

"We think we know what you're about to say," Charles interrupted her, his voice cracking. Emma wiped her tears away with one hand while the other reached out to hold her husband's.

"Christopher…killed himself," Aislynn finally said.

Tears continued to run down Emma's face as Charles gestured at her with his head.

"We know, Aislynn," Emma said.

And just like that, Aislynn’s world